"Can I be good in just a minute"

Simon: "I'm Wall-e and Wall-e likes to watch Wall-e so I have to watch it."

I took Simon to play in the playground. He met a little boy there. He wanted to show him how to climb the spider-web ladder so he said, "Hey, Guy! Here's how you be Spiderman!"

Simon blew a big puff of air, then said, "Was that air or a breeze?"

Simon: "Mom, I have to fight you because you're my adversary (he pronounces it "ad-ver-si-re")."

Simon: "Can I be good in just a minute? I'm busy being a bad guy right now."

I took Simon to the bathroom. I left for just a minute and when I came back he was sitting on the floor of our kitchen (don't ask me why) with his pants down around his ankles, spinning in a circle. I asked him what on earth he thought he was doing and he said, "I'm making a zero with my bum!" Gross and funny, but mostly gross.

Simon's shirt got dirty at the park. I brought a new one into the bathroom for him to put on. He said, "You do it!" and threw it up into the air-it fell past him into the toilet. Needless to say, he did not wear that one.