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Saturday, May 30, 2015

Runaway Girls' Night

Simon: "Are you going to have a runaway girls' night? "
Me: "What's that? "
Simon: "It's where you run away so me and Dad can have a guys' night. "

Simon: "When you're done being pregnant, I'm going to teach you some Karate Kwan Do moves. "
Apparently, Simon has come up with his own martial art. Ha ha!

Simon: "I tried to teach Scamps some basic Spanish, but she didn't care. "
He tried to teach her the words "Hola" and "Azul". How would a cat react to those words anyway?

Simon: "Mom, I have a question: how long do you have to stick your tongue out before it dries out? "

Simon got out of bed after he was supposed to be in for the night, and said to me, "I require more hugs and kisses from the mommage."

Friday, May 15, 2015

Rocking Chair

Simon: "I'm the king of mastering the rocking chair! Look, no hands! "
Guess what piece of furniture we got today?

Simon: "We should move to a state that has a lot of snow. Like California. "

Monday, May 11, 2015

Batting Cages

Jeff: "I really want to visit the batting cages."
Simon: "Is that the cage where the bats live?"

Simon: "I never want to wear a tuxedo again. "
Me: "Why not? You looked handsome. "
Simon: "Yeah. Too handsome. Do you know what I'm getting at? I don't want to wear a tuxedo and look too fancy. "
Me, jokingly: "Girls like it when a man looks fancy. "
Simon: "Okay, I want to look fancy. "

Simon shares some viewpoints on the new baby:
Simon: "Are you sure you're pregnant and you didn't just eat too much food and that's why you're sick?"
Me: "No, buddy. I'm pregnant. Remember the pictures we showed you?"
Simon: "But it just looked like a watermelon. I don't want to have a baby."
Me: "Why not?"
Simon: "I don't want to change poopy diapers."
Me: "Dad and I will take care of the poopy diapers. You can play with the baby, and hold it."
Simon: "But what if it poopy diapers me while I'm holding it? You know, like a house getting egged, except I'm the house?"