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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Syrup Man

Here are a few of the things Simon has said and done in the last couple of days:

Simon: "Dear God, thank you for everything. Amen."

Simon: I'm a knight, and I drink milk, and swallow it, and it goes down into my breastplate."
Ew! I really hope not.

Simon (after eating breakfast for dinner last night): "Dad is Waffle Man, and I'm the sidekick named Syrup Man, and you're the bad guy."

Simon: "I have a funny joke."
Me: "What is it?"
Simon: "Uh...I don't know."

Enjoy your day!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Prayer and play time

Simon has been particularly chatty lately. Here are some of the highlights:

Simon was bouncing around in the bathroom. He suddenly shouted, "I'm getting so wound up!"

Simon (referring to Shredder and his henchmen in the Ninja Turtles show): "Those bad guys are violent!"

Simon had a blast watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas with us last night. He told us all about his favorite parts, whether they actually happened or not.
"I love it when Max goes to the Grinch and says, "Hey, are you happy yet?""

Simon came up to me and said, very seriously, "I want  my two front teeth so I can say "Merry Christmas" more better."

The setup:
Simon: "I'm almost four like Optimus Prime!"
Jeff: "So Optimus Prime is almost four?"
The payoff:
Simon: "No! He's not even real!"

Simon: "Don't mess with my drinks, man."

Simon, talking about Spiderman: "When Spiderman goes bonking his head on the cities, he goes cr-azy!"

Simon (at the table this morning): "Guess what? My breakfast is nutritious! But it's okay because it's tasty."

Simon: "I smell something that smells good and it's the light."

I was fighting the usual morning battle, trying to get Simon to eat. His answer: "If I eat anymore, I'll get ever-so-sick."
Who talks like that? I have no idea where he got that one.

Simon told me he needed to pray. He stopped, folded his hands, and said, "God, can I play with my toys? Amen."
Hahaha!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

"Gobble, gobble! Got that?"

Yesterday I helped Simon make a fort. He told me it needed a sign. I said, "Oh, like 'keep out'?" and he answered, "Make it say 'keep in'". Hahaha!

Simon: "Gobble, gobble! Got that?"

Simon: "What's California?"
Jeff: "It's a state."
Simon: "Ohhhhh." (nods knowingly) "What's a state?"

Me: "What do you want for breakfast, Simon?"
Simon: "Tofu."
What?

Simon: "That's the problem when I try to fit in under the table and I swerve through the door. I get stuck!"

Simon: "When I grow up, I want to be a knight with a horse in red armor."
Me: "Red, huh?"
Simon: "So I can spill on it."
Hahaha!

Simon: "My friends at church are always sleeping at bedtime. It's boring!"


Friday, November 25, 2011

Thanksgiving




                                               Simon sneaked into the picture

                                                Simon with his great grandparents and his grandma




                                                     
                                                      Jeff and I - photo op! (haha!)

                                                         Simon with Anna


                                                             Aunt Shannon



We had a great Thanksgiving yesterday. We went over to my mom's house and ate with her, my grandparents, my sister and her friend Anna (who I've known for years). We're not used to a "big Thanksgiving"; that turkey was enormous!
Simon was very well behaved. Okay, so he did ask for Christmas presents after he hugged everyone goodbye (that was embarrassing!), and he did try to take one of my mom's magazines into the bathroom with him ("I'm going to try to poop so I need it!"), and he ate a pb&j sandwich instead of turkey. But, aside from that, he was great. Hahaha! He fell in love with the computer chair (apparently, it's a "superhero chair") and dragged that all over the place. Kids find the funniest things interesting.

Here are some pictures!

From this morning:

Simon: "Dinosaurs would say hi by roaring, then they would think I'm a cute boy and they would EAT me!"

Simon: "Can I stub my winkie like my toe? 'Cause I totally did! It was awkward."

Simon (about Thanksgiving): "I liked eating the turkey" (he never even tried it!) "and the Power Rangers!" There were power rangers in the parade. Silly boy.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

"It was a guy thing"

Jeff and Simon were pushing a toy construction vehicle back and forth. Simon asked what it was and Jeff didn't know, so he just said, "It's a utility vehicle."
Simon answered, "You're right! What's a utility?"

Simon said that racing his toy cars is a "Crump Competition." It makes sense to me.

Simon: "Optimus Prime was in my dream."
Me: "What was he doing?"
Simon: "Uh...hanging out."

I let Simon call Jeff at work. After they hung up, I asked what he said. Simon answered, "I said words. Dad said words. It was a guy thing." Hahaha!

Simon: "The garbage truck outside needs to stop because I said something important!"

Simon ran into the kitchen, pointed at me and laughed, then explained that "I made fun of you!"

Simon: "For Thanksgiving, we eat turkey, eat candy, and all that crazy nonsense."
Me: "I don't think we'll be eating any candy."
Simon: "Oh. Why not?"

Simon: "When is Thanksgiving?"
Me: "It's tomorrow."
Simon: "Today is tomorrow!"

Simon very politely thanked his breakfast for "giving all my food some company in my tummy?." Silly boy.

Simon: "I'm a good guy hero and I fight evil with honor!"

Enjoy your day and have a great Thanksgiving tomorrow!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Simon teaches Jeff a lesson

Simon is in fine form today. Here are a few of the things that have made me laugh:

Simon (to Jeff): "I'm your father and I'm teaching you a lesson!"
Jeff: "What's the lesson?"
Simon: "I'm teaching you a lesson!"
Jeff: "Well, what is it?"
Simon: "Uh...how to punch. BAM!"

After running around for a while, Simon wiped his forehead and said, "Hooh! I'm fast!"

This morning at breakfast, Simon was having a difficult time with his waffles and syrup. He looked at Jeff and said, "Is this kinda like a sick joke?" Jeff asked what he was referring to and Simon gestured vaguely all around the room. Hahaha!

Simon: "I'm the only superhero on the world! It's making me tired!"

Simon: "I'm a special knight."
Me: "What kind of special knight?"
Simon: "The shiny kind."

Saturday, November 19, 2011

"It wasn't impressing"

Simon: "Guess how long I am. I'm seven feet tall!"

Simon: "Mom, I always win the competition. You lose because you cheat."
I don't cheat, he just never tells me what game he's playing!

Simon: "Dad, do you know your colors yet?"

Simon: "We went to the book sale, but I was sad because it wasn't impressing." Hahaha!

We went to a book sale at the library with my mom today. The entire time, Simon referred Swindle which is apparently a transformer. He has a great imagination.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Friday, November 18, 2011

"Holy walkamole!"

Good morning!

Simon: "I'm married to you."
Me: "No you're not. You're my son."
Simon: "But who are you married to?"
Me: "Dad."
Simon: "No you're not because he's a grown-up."
I guess I'm not mature enough to be considered a "grown-up". Teehee!

Simon: "Apple + pie = apple pie. I just did math!"

Simon: "What do you do for Thanksgiving?"
Me: "You get to spend time with the people you love, remember all the great things that you have to be thankful for, and eat yummy food."
Simon: "Yummy food is...garlic!"

Jeff is reading a book about the Civil War. Simon saw the solider on the cover and asked, "Is that Dudley Do-Right?" Hahaha!

Simon: "I'm excited for being excited for Thanksgiving!"

Simon: "Holy walkamole!" (I'm pretty sure he was trying to say guacamole).

Have a wonderful day!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Cinnamon and camouflage


I turned the a/c on (yes, it was actually that hot in our house) and Simon said, "Yay! Some nice fresh air."

Simon pronounced "cinnamon" correctly and I said, "I'm impressed, Simon. I had a hard time saying that word for a while when I was younger."
Simon answered, "You learned a new word called "cinnamon". I'm so proud of you!"

Simon gave me a big hug and said, "You ate all your breakfast. I'm so impressed at you!" It seems he's forgotten who the parent is. Haha!

Simon: "I learned a new word: Camouflage. It means to blend in, like this-" (he drops to the floor and rolls into a ball)- "see?" Just like a gecko."

Simon: "Is today Thanksgiving?"
Me: "No. We have another week to wait."
Simon: "But I want Thanksgiving popcorn!"
What?

Enjoy your day!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011









Simon helped me get an early start on some holiday baking. Here are some pictures:

"Pretend there's a bug on your face and I'll smack it off"

Good morning. Here are some more Simonisms:

Last night, Jeff and I were talking about how fast Simon has grown up. Jeff said, "You're so big!" and Simon answered, "I'm big so I can get out of the car myself and drive it."

Simon asked why I sounded funny and I explained that I have a cold. He said, "Your nose is blowsy! You might want to fix that." Haha!

Simon always waves when Jeff leaves for work. Then he said, "I missed Dad's wave because I burped."

Simon: "Where does milk come from?"
Me: "It comes from cows."
Simon: "No, it comes from the store!"
Me: "It comes from a cow but the store sells it."
Simon: "What's her name?"
Me: "Who?"
Simon: "The cow, silly!"
I really need to be more awake in order to follow Simon's train of thought.

Simon: "I don't feel good. I ate too much." He'd eaten about four bites of his breakfast.

Simon to me: "Pretend there's a bug on your face and I'll smack it off." Uh...no.

This one is from the other day, but I just remembered it for some reason:

"Everybody Hurt" by R.E.M. was playing. Simon was singing along, only his lyrics went: "Everybody burps sometimes..." It cracked me up!

Have a great day!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Simon learns that Tuesdays are a weekly occurence

Simon: "What's today?"
Me: "It's Tuesday."
Simon: "But I thought we already had a Tuesday!"
Jeff (I was laughing too hard to answer): "There's a Tuesday every week, buddy."
Simon: "Oh.."

Simon wanted to play at the park. We told him that we'd have to wait and see if the weather was good enough and Simon said, "The weather is nice now!"

Simon: "Is Thanksgiving soon?"
Jeff: "Yes."
Simon: "Is it tomorrow?"
Jeff: "No, it's not tomorrow, but soon."
Simon: "Is it today?"

Enjoy your evening!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Superman feet pajamas and the fun they cause




There was a kid's clothing swap at church yesterday (yay!). I found Simon the cutest Superman feet pj's. He loves them! I'm going to let him wear them as long as he can today, but once it reaches ten a.m. it'll be too hot. I'm not loving the idea of making Simon change; he's having so much fun.

Simon explains why he wouldn't hug his grandma yesterday: "I wouldn't hug Grandma because she has a shiny shirt and it was scary." The little goober.

Simon went into the bathroom in his new feet pj's last night, looked at the toilet, then at the zipper on his pj's, and said, "This is going to be trick-y!"

I thanked Simon for cleaning up his toys and he said, "Ah, it was nothing." He talks like a little old man sometimes.

Simon: "I'm pretending to be Superman who is Clark Kent sometimes but not right now. I'm awesome!"

I told Simon that he could wear his pj's until it got too hot and then he'd have to change. Simon answered, "But I would get sad! That's depressing."



Friday, November 11, 2011

Simon experiences brain freeze...in his stomach

Last night Simon took a gulp of milk, grabbed his stomach, and said, "Ow! I have brain freeze!

Simon: "I want to go to sleep."
Me (completely surprised): "Really?"
Simon: "No. I was just being sarcastic and joking."

I told Simon to take a bite of his food and he said, "Ladies first."

Simon: "I didn't sleep well and that's why I'm sneezing."

Simon: "I want to watch my movie with Iron Man, and Wolverine, and the Hulk, and Batman, and all those other crazy guys."
Me: "Simon, you don't have a superhero movie."
Simon: "Yes I do. I'll show you." He brought over his Cars dvd.
Me: "That's not a superhero movie!"
Simon: "I know, Mom! I was pretending."

Simon: "What's today?"
Me: "Today is Friday."
Simon: "Happy Wednesday!"

Happy Wednesday, everybody!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

"I have allergies so I can't take a bath"

Some of today's Simon-isms:

Simon, while playing with a toy plane and pilot: "My pilot says his plane is his invention, but it's my invention!"

Simon: "I have allergies so I can't take a bath."

Simon: "Are you Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?"
Me: "No. I'm Mommy on the ground with Simon."
Simon: "That's even better."
Awww!

Simon fell and bumped his side on the table. He burst into tears and said, "I hurt my waist and I'm having a bad day!" And the Oscar for best actor in a drama goes to...

Monday, November 7, 2011

"I want Mom to be henchman # 3!"

Good morning! Some of these are from last night. A brief explanation: Simon has decided that motorcycles are the coolest things ever.

Simon to Jeff: "I want Mom to be henchman number 3!"

Jeff was singing a song and Simon really wanted him to stop. He looked at Jeff and said, "Stop singing. Your song is inappropriate for me." It wasn't.

Simon: "Bbbbbwwwuuuurrrrrpppp! Write that down." Hahaha!

Simon: "When I'm riding my motorcycle, if I fall off and my motorcycle keeps going, that would be awkward."

Simon came running into our room first thing this morning and said, "I'm a bad guy motorcycle guy!"
Me: "Good morning, Simon."
Simon: "Oh. Yeah. Right. Good morning!"
He forgot to say good morning; he just started right in!"

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Worst Case Scenarios

Today has been interesting. This morning was about the usual, but Simon threw the mother of all fits on the way back from church today. He finally calmed down and managed to take a nap, but it left me pretty tired.

Simon, explaining why he threw a fit: "I have a fever in my tummy and it's allergies and it's making me cry. I need soup and candy bars." He did have a slight fever (that could have been because he got so worked up), and he was quieter than usual this morning. Tonight he's been running around like usual, so I'm not worried.

Simon: "I'm one of those motorcycle guys who are bad guys who ride motorcycles. We are on the job!"

During his bath, Simon wiggled so much that he got a face full of water. Jeff told him that he just experienced a worst case scenario and Simon answered, "You are the one that destroyed me!"

Here's hoping that there are no more epic fits on the way!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Flashers

Simon: "I'm the Flasher! I go really fast!"
Jeff: "You mean you're the Flash."
Simon: "No, I'm the Flasher!"

This morning, Simon said to me: "You look like a human being. Weird."

I told Simon to eat his breakfast (he has a problem with eating) and he said, "I can't eat. I'm distracted."

Simon: "How do you spell 'super green lantern guy with a power ring that's green and he saves the day'?"
Why can't he ask how to spell 'cat'? It's a lot less complicated.

Enjoy your weekend!
Simon has been listening to toddler music all morning. I've now heard a hip-hop version of "the Itsy Bitsy Spider." I tell you , it's unnatural. If you find me sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, moaning and tearing my hair out, you know why.

Friday, November 4, 2011

A new noggin

Good morning! Some of these are from last night.

Simon was playing superheroes-I was supposed to be the "bad guy". After I let him knock his toy sword out of my hand he said, "Now I defeated the rest of the bad guys you hang out with." Than he handed me the sword and started over again. We played superhero for a good chunk of the day yesterday.

Simon: "Where's the Batman vehicle in this joint?"

Jeff put his baseball hat on Simon. Simon took it off, handed it back to Jeff, and said, "I don't need to wear your hat because I'm not you."

This morning Simon was looking at one of his books. He pointed to a picture and said, "I'm confused about this, whatever it is."

Last night Simon hit his head pretty hard. He's got a big bump. This morning he said, "I need a new noggin, because this one's broken."

Simon: I'm giving you a hug because it makes you happy and then I defeat you 'cause you're distracted!"

For some reason, Simon is always "defeating" me. Hmmm...that bears some thinking. Have a wonderful day and enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

"If I lived in the Bible, I'd have to wear a dress"

Good morning. Most of these are from yesterday.

Simon said, out of the blue, "Mom, it's just a disco."
I don't know what he was talking about, but it made me laugh.

I took Simon to the bathroom  yesterday and he said, "Sorry, it's just not happening."

Me: "Simon, we need to change your clothes."
Simon (in a very whiny voice):"Why? I don't want to."
Me: "Because they're dirty."
Simon: "Oh. Why didn't you say so?"

Simon: "I have a very important question for you. In Diary of a Wimpy Kid, why does that kid go in the basement?"
Hahaha!

Simon: "If I lived in the Bible, I'd have to wear a dress."
Hahaha!

Simon: "I'm a him."

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween quotes

We had a great time taking Simon trunk-or-treating last night. He dressed up as a knight. It was the first time Simon has done anything for Halloween. He seems bummed that it's over, but it was a blast.

Simon: "I can't see a thing with my helmet down!" The helmet is a little big and the visor goes all the way down to his chin because of it.

He ended up stalking a little boy dressed as Batman. After the little kid left, Simon said, "Batman was too fast for me!"

This morning, Simon came running into the bedroom with his bag of Halloween candy. He said, "I can eat candy for breakfast because it's good."
Jeff: "It's way too early to eat candy, buddy."
Simon: "Then you can eat it for breakfast because it's good."

Simon (talking about the boy dressed as Batman):"There were tons of Batman last night, but I found the best one!"

We're off to the doctor because Simon has been holding his ears and complaining that everything is too loud. I hope it's nothing, but better safe than sorry. I hope you all had a great time yesterday. I know we did!