Again, some of these are from yesterday:

Simon (with his sad face): "I was rude to Grandma. I need to go to church and say sorry."
Me: "Do you want to call and apologize."
Simon: "No, 'cause I'm eating lunch."
If you read this, mom, Simon is sorry!

We watch America's Funniest Videos on Sunday nights with Simon. Last night, he kept bogarting Jeff's popcorn as he picked a piece up. It was so funny!

Simon puts on his knight helmet and runs around the house while Jeff makes horse noises, via Monty Python technique (hands, not cocoanuts, sadly). Simon fell over behind the sofa then said, "I fell off the horse. It didn't work out."

Simon puts on the helmet: "Now I'm Sir Simon Knight."  He takes off the helmet: "Now I'm just Simon." Puts on the helmet: "Now I'm Sir Simon Knight." This goes on for quite some time.

Simon apparently needs protection everywhere; he wore his knight helmet while going to the bathroom and brushing his teeth (that one was difficult).

Me: "Simon, don't bang your head on the wall!"
Simon: "But I'm a knight! My helmet protects me!"
Me: "But you shouldn't bang your head on the wall."
Simon: "Where can I bang my head, then?"

Simon: "Are there animals on the computer? 'Cause I love muffins!"
What?