|Simon wanted to look like a Final Fantasy character so he made a helmet out of Lego bricks.|
Simon was pretending to be an "old-timey gentleman" (his words). I got to hear gems like, "I must go to a fancy party where there's alcohol that I'm not allowed to drink yet, but I shall eat garlic croutons", and, "I'm a butler. I outrank you."
Simon: "Do you know what you can say to a ghost? "Are you flabby? Maybe you need exorcise". Get it?"
Simon farted (a LOT), then asked, "Does that mean I'm susceptible to dysentery?"
Simon: "Dentist people are so busy making sure everyone else takes care of their teeth, they might not have time to take care of their own! Maybe that's why they wear those masks. They serve a dual purpose. To keep out germs and to hide the irony of having their own bad teeth.
Me: "You and Ollie both look cute today. Sorry, Ollie's cute. You're handsome."
Simon: "It's okay if you say I'm cute. I'm still a kid, after all. When I'm a teenager, you have to say I'm handsome. Unless I have pimples."