zoo

zoo

Friday, October 24, 2014

Italy

Simon: "Where did T used to live?"
Me: "Italy."
Simon: "Oh! That's why he can speak french!"

Me: "I'm going to close the blinds. It's getting really hot in here."
Simon: "Why don't you take your shirt off?"
Me: "I can't. It's inappropriate for females to take their shirts off in public."
Simon: "I reject that! It isn't fair. Ladies get hot too."

Simon: "What's the name of the story about the person that's blocked from his heart's desire?"
Me: "There are lots of stories about that. I need more to go on, buddy."
Simon: "Like me. I'm blocked off from my heart's desire, which is origami."
He's grounded from origami for the week.

Watching a Capital One credit card commercial, Simon asked, "Why do they always want to know what's in my wallet?"

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Texas Hold-em

Jeff and Simon were playing Uno. I heard Simon ask Jeff if he knew any card games. Jeff said he would teach Simon fifty-two card pickup. Simon asked, "Can you teach me Texas Hold-'em?"
Jeff answered, "Maybe."
Simon queried, "Do we play for our lunch money?"

Simon when we told him to get ready for bed: "Hey, hey, ho, ho! This here kid just won't go!"


Simon is going as Captain America for Halloween. I must say, he's pretty darn cute.

I told Simon a joke.He immediately said, "Ha ha ha! That's a crude joke!"
I answered, "That joke wasn't crude!"
Simon asked, "Oh. What does "crude" mean?"
I told him that a crude joke is usually one involving toilet humor. He laughed and said, "Those are only for little kids!"

Simon: "Does it hurt to pull a  muscle in your foot?"
Me: "Yup. Why do you ask?"
Simon: "I'm going to walk with cloven hooves so that I pull a muscle."
Huh?

Friday, October 10, 2014

Star Wars Origami Enterprises

Simon, playing Lego Batman with his friend: "Come on! Eat my thunder!"

Simon: "Maybe when I grow up I'm going to use lots of money to go to college. Then I'm going to buy a jet pack so I can go work with Dad."

I gave Simon a worksheet to practice writing numbers in Spanish. He worked quietly for a minute, then he said, "Wait a minute! This is a kindergarten worksheet! I'm a first grader! This is insulting to me!"

Simon: "Did you see me going in reverse around the table [with the string]? Tim was going crazy! That's reverse psychology for ya."

Simon has a new favorite phrase: "Au contrair, Mom-air."

Simon: "I'm CEO of Star Wars Origami Enterprises. Incorporated."