Snowball Fight

Good morning! Here are some new Simon-isms:

Simon: "I can't believe there's a Boba Fett in Star Wars!"

Simon was playing with his new toy cars. He grabbed my hand and said, 'I'm going to show you how we boys do it."

Simon kept turning the lights on and off. I told him to stop turning them off and he answered, "I turned the light off because I'm evil!"

Simon ran full-tilt into the wall. I asked him if he was okay (I have to be honest: I was not at all worried since he runs into the walls on a pretty regular basis) and he said, "I'm dramatic."

Simon has learned the word "confident." I tried to get him to use it in a sentence in front of Jeff. Here is the result:
Me: "When you are sure that you can do something, you are -what- in yourself?"
Simon: "Dastardly!"
Um, no.

I'm pretty tired this morning (I slept walked last night and ended up on the floor in the living room, which does not add up to a good nights' sleep) so I told Simon that I'm "falling apart at the seams".
Simon said, "But I don't hear a cracking sound."

Simon threw a wet washcloth at me and yelled, "SNOWBALL FIGHT!"
We really need to visit a cold state.
Hahahaha!

Have a great day!

"Let me tell you about my life"

Halloo! I hope you all had a great Christmas! We were ridiculously spoiled and had a fantastic time. Some of these posts are from a few days ago, since I haven't posted in the last couple of days.

Simon started carrying around a stuffed animal and explained to me that "it's my sidekick".

Simon's latest attempt to get me to "camp out" with him at his nap time, which I don't do since he REALLY doesn't sleep then: "No one's lying there" (on his pillow) "so you need to 'cause somebody's got to do it!"

Simon doused his face with water, scraped a spoon across it, then tried to dry off on the wall. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, "I'm trying to shave like a human being like Dad."

The juice cup Simon was drinking out of mysteriously disappeared. Jeff and I were looking everywhere for it. We asked him to help us find it and he went, got out his toy phone, and said, "Hello? Police? I need you to come find my juice. It's an emergency."

While we were driving, Simon suddenly yelled, "There are birds flying-pull over!"

Simon: "There are a million birds. Let's count them." He counted to ten.

When Simon saw all his presents for Christmas, his jaw dropped (he made a "CHUNG" sound because he likes sound effects) and he said excitedly, "Presents! That's amazing!'

Simon: "Mom, was I spoiled on Christmas?"
Me: "Yes! We all were."
Simon: "Oh." He thinks about it for a minute, "I like being spoiled."

Simon, to my grandparents, mom, and sister on Christmas Eve: "Let me tell you about my life."

"Fore! Five, six, seven, eight..."

Christmas anticipation is high at our house. Simon got up five times between the hours of midnight and six ("I had a bad dream"-grinning while he said this, "I need to go to the bathroom", "Tuck me in", "Blow my nose, please", and "The birds are making noise") which I'm pretty sure has something to do with the massive amount of excitement and energy. It's funny, but I'm tired.

Simon, talking about a card he drew for Jeff: "That's the card I designed about a month ago."
He talks like such a little adult!

The other day I used Simon's toy golf club lightly smack Jeff (he deserved it). I said, "fore!". Simon took the club from me, swung at Jeff, and said, "Fore! Five, six, seven, eight..." Jeff got smacked all the way up to fifteen. Hahaha! That'll teach him! Except, I can't remember what lesson he needed to learn.

Simon, talking about brontosauruses vs. T-Rex: "They scared away the bad dinosaurs with their giant speakers that say "ROAR"!

Simon learns the word "aversion"

Good morning! Here are a couple of Simonisms:

Simon: "This toy is for kids my age, right?"
Me: "Yes it is."
Simon: "I'm my age!"

Simon (on the way home from a friend's house last night):"I don't like coffee. It tastes kind of not good to me."
Of course, he has never had coffee. Can you imagine him with a caffeine jolt? The very idea makes me shudder.

Simon learned what the word "aversion" means. His use of it? "I have an aversion to sleeping for my nap."
Boy, do I know it.

Enjoy your day! I hope Simon can overcome his aversion to naps and catch some sleep today to make up for all these late nights.

Eat Augustine

Simon and I went with a friend to the Christmas boat parade last night. There was only one boat decorated, which was kind of a letdown, but we still had fun. I almost walked into a ditch heading over because it turns out my night vision is not the best. We learned that bananas taste better when they're at someone else's house (Simon ate one at my friend's house, but he won't eat them at home) and that motorized Charlie Browns are scary.

While at the parade, the police were driving up and down the bridge, warning people to get out of the road. We were trying to decide if we wanted to leave or if we should stay a little longer. I asked Simon what he wanted to do and he said, "I want to get out of the road so those policemen will stop yapping."

We're going to St. Augustine later to see the lights. Simon told Jeff : "I want to go to Eat Augustine with Mom, Grandma, Aunt Shannon, and all those other guys." I guess Jeff is just an "other guy". Haha!

Simon kept calling Jeff a "turkey bare bottom". I have no idea what that means, but I'm stealing it.

Have a great Sunday!

What's a 'cup of cheer'?

Good morning! It's been a busy couple of weeks, with some fun things coming up. Simon can't wait to go to the Christmas Boat Parade. Apparently, all the boats are decorated with Christmas lights. We're both very excited and happy to be going with a good friend. Here's what Simon has been up to lately:

I told Simon that he gets to go to the "big people church" with us on Christmas Eve. He got very excited and said, "Is it a Disney castle!?!"

Simon has decided that Jeff and I are part of his army, one that he has created to defeat whatever his imagination dreams up. Today he said, "Mom, you have to say 'yes, sir' when I say 'get those pesky turtles!'. Okay?"

Jeff read Simon the story of Esther in his kid Bible. I asked Simon what he had learned about (I do that every day) and he said, "The bad guy and the girl that was wearing a blue thing and was a good guy."
Hahaha! At least he knows his colors.

Simon was playing with some craft sticks (basically, they're colored popsicle sticks). He said, "I made a cross, see?"
Me: "You did."
Simon: "Like Jesus died on."
Me: "What happened three days later?"
Simon: "He came back from dying."
Me: "Do you know why?"
Simon: "Because he loves me!"
I'm so proud.

Simon (singing): "Have a holly, jolly Christmas. It's the best time of the year. I don't know where is the snow but have a cup of- Mom, what's a cup of cheer?"

Simon: "I don't like your nose."
Me: "Simon, that's mean. You hurt my feelings."
Simon: "It's not because of your fault. God made it."

Simon: "I'm Flash Robin so I have to wear Dad's helmet and ride a dirt bike and defeat all the bad guys and eat my candy kissed right now."
Me: "It's too early for candy."
Simon: "But Flash Robin has to have some for energy!"

Simon: "The turtles defeated me! It cannot be!" He whispered to me, "I'm the bad guy so I always get in trouble."

Simon: "My emotion is kind of  excited today."

Enjoy your weekend!

Routine Shenanigans

Add caption

I have no idea how he managed to stick his toy turtle there!

                                           

 You know, I probably shouldn't encourage him. But it's so funny!

                          

Simon signs "I love you"

                                         

Smart Cookie Potpie!

Simon called Jeff a "smart cookie potpie!"
I'm stealing that one.

Simon: "I'm a robot and I live on the planet Ozone."

Jeff worse a tie this morning. It caused a few interesting comments from Simon:
"Dad's all dressed up like a bad guy."

"Is that a belt for your neck?"

Have a great "Windsday"!

Fatman vs. Batman

Me: "Simon, don't touch the Christmas tree."
Simon: "I was just cleaning its' bogeys!"

Simon kept standing in front of our red sofa, while wearing a red shirt , and saying, "I'm blending in. It's called camouflage. You can't see me."

Simon: "Dad needs to come home (from work) so I can tell him I miss him when he works."
Awww!

Simon: "I need to eat all my candy kisses from my candy cane so I can be Fat Man, not Batman!"

Simon has a secret

Hi there! Simon has been helping me bake cookies today. The house is slowly filling up with all kinds of sweet stuff that no kid should ever eat. It's been fun.

Simon, telling me what game we were playing: "I'm Robin and you're a snowman 'cause you're big, and rolly, and cold."
Thanks, buddy.

I complimented Simon on his creativity with his Legos (Thanks, Ryan!) and he said, "Yep. I'm a natural!"

Simon (whispering in my ear): "I've got a secret and it's called I don't have to take a nap."

I asked Simon what he did with his grandma last night. He said, "I showed Grandma the Kronk part in Emperor New Groove and she thought I was cute, and funny, and kind of freaky-outy."

I asked Simon if he wanted to put the baking chocolate into a bowl for me and he (very solemnly) said, "Mom. This stuff looks like poop."  That being the case, who's hungry?

Enjoy your weekend!

Duck Soup

Hullo!

While Simon was playing in the bathtub, he filled a cup full of water and dropped his rubber duck in it. He looked at me, and proudly said, "Look! Duck Soup!"

Me: "High five!"
Simon: "But I didn't do anything!"

Simon has decided that he's a "rickshaw robot". If you've read Animalia recently, this will almost make sense. Almost.

Simon: "I'm pretending to be Jonah, but the guy not the vegetable." (There's a veggietales version of Jonah) "I don't want you to eat me!"

Simon: "Did Superman eat at Thanksgiving holidays?"
Me: "I don't know. What do you think?"
Simon: "No, 'cause he was excited."

I've got a Christmas party to look forward to. Christmas party? Yay! Caroling? Ummm...
Enjoy your Friday!

The mom in Charlie Brow says "blah, blah, blah", just like you

I had a lot of fun with Jeff and Simon today.

Jeff used the word 'hyperbole' in a conversation with me. Simon immediately piped in, "Hyperbole is a robot!"

Simon: "Is Grandma going to cook a cat?"

Simon: "Dad, you have to clean my room just like mom said."
Interesting. I told Simon to clean his room.

On the way to the library, Simon kept on saying, "The joke's on you, Batman!"

Simon: "Are these gears on my toy?"
Me: "No, they're saw blades."
Simon: "What are they?"
Me; "Saw blades."
Simon: "What?"
Me: "SAW BLADES!"
Simon (to Jeff): "Dad, are these gears?"
Jeff: "No, they're saw blades."
Simon: "Oh, I knew that."
Jeesh!

Simon came prancing out of the bathroom with nothing on his bottom half. He proudly said, "This is awkward."
I answered, "No, this is immodest." I foresee many more such conversations in the future.

Simon's been playing with his toy Robin: "Robin and I were arguing . He was saying "I'm Robin" and I was saying "I'm Robin" but there's only one.
Me: "Are you Robin?"
Simon (with a sigh): "No. He is."
Hahaha!

Simon: "He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty and nice. Megatron is coming to town!"

Simon to me: "Hey, the mom on Charlie Brow says 'blah, blah, blah' just like you."

My great uncle passed away today. My thoughts and prayers are with his wife and kids.

Simon learns the word "dastardly"

I took Simon outside to ride his bike yesterday. He decided to be a bad guy. He explained that, "I'm a dastardly bad guy, but it's only temporary."

On the way back from riding his bike, Simon said, "Thanks. I enjoyed that."


Simon wore his goggles from his construction costume all day yesterday.
Simon: "Can I tell ya about my goggles?"
Me: "Sure."
Simon: "Let's get inside and I'll explain."
He talks like such a little adult!

Simon wanted me to play pretend with him. "Let's find a satellite with our super cool special eyeballs!"

Simon: "Are you dancing ballet?"
Me: "Not anymore. I used to, a long time ago."
Simon: "And now you're just tall."
Hahaha!

Simon: "If you get a shock, that's a stain."
Me: "No, a stain would be if you got dirt on your shirt and it didn't come off when we washed it."
Simon: "You're right! It does happen from time to time."
Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy.

"The First Noel" came on the radio. As soon as he heard the first cord, Simon said, "I don't like this one, it's boring."
Me: "Simon, the singing hasn't even started yet!"
The singers got the word "the" out and Simon immediately said, "I heard it and this is boring!"
Hahaha!

Enjoy your day!

Slow and Steady

Simon is watching Super Why. For those of you who aren't familiar with that show, that's a question that is asked at the beginning that is answered when the character collect all the "super letters" . Simon told me: "Super Why needs to share because he can't use all those letters!"

In regards to the story "The Tortoise and the Hare", Simon said: "Slow and steady is BORING!"

Simon: "Can your hair be purple again?"

Simon (while wearing his knight armor): "Sir Simon the Brave and Chivalrous doesn't go pee in the potty."

Simon signed "I love you". When I signed it back, he said, "Mom, you're unbelievable!" Is that a compliment or an insult?

I'm so grateful for my sweet, silly boy! He can always make me smile!

Simon does a Madlib

Simon did a madlib with me. Here are the results:

Andrew and I have a winter tradition. Every year we put on all the sweaters we can find, pack sandwiches and a thermos of juice , and go hiking in the mountains. All that changed when my family moved to California, where it's always 5 degrees! But we had to follow our tradition. So this year we put on our coats, packed soda soup, and rented a Simon- mobile. We ate up a tall robot until we could see all the way to the Crump house. We played our body swings onto our mouths and, with a honk!, pushed ourselves down. We were moving faster than a lion, and frogs were eating our faces. "Hey!" we yelled. It was a total blast until we realized our ride was right where we left it-way up at the top.

Simon: "My bones are made out of skeletons!"