The Day The Warranty Expired

Simon: "I want to make a movie called "The Day the Warranty Expired". The teaser on the cover will say ,"Does anyone have the courage to renew it? ", and it will be about some parents whose house is falling apart and the warranty is going to expire. They have to race to renew it. "

Simon: "If I can't get a job job when I grow up, I'll just host a game show called "You are Correct"."

Oliver was crying on the way home last night. Simon looked at him and yelled, "He's homesick! He looks homesick and depressed. "

Simon said, "I think the reason Oliver and I aren't the same age is if we were, we could only gabble at each other. Since I'm older, I can help with Oliver and make him smile. "

Simon just told me that he wants a mood ring so that he'll know when he's getting angry and he'll calm down.

After reading the back of his AWANA book, Simon yelled excitedly: "Mom! Did you know I can get scholars hip money? "
Me: "What? "
Simon: "Scholars hip money! Scholars hip! "
Me: "Oh. ..do you mean "scholarship?" money? "
Simon: "Yeah, whatever. What is that? "
Me: "It's money that gets put toward paying for college. "
Simon, sounding disappointed : "Oh. I thought someone was just going to give me money. "

Fried Calamari

Jeff asked Simon what he wanted for breakfast and Simon, grinning, answered, "Wallabies and black eye soup!"

Simon: "Who are you going to vote for? "
Me: "I don't know. I don't like any of the candidates. "
Simon: "Can I run? "
Me: "You're too young, buddy."
Simon: "What about you? You'd be a great president! "
Me: "Thanks. I wouldn't want to be, though. "
Simon: "But you'd be better at it than these other people! Jeesh! I know how to win an election : just be nice. "

Simon: "Why does all of Oliver's food smell putrid and disgusting? "

Earlier I was talking with Simon, holding Oliver, and making dinner at the same time. Simon, looking impressed, told me, "You have level three multitasking. "

Simon, talking to me about a toy that Oliver has with an ocean theme: "Man, I want to stick that thing in the oven! Fried calamari, anyone? Badum tish!"