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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A ton of love!

Simon to Jeff: "I'm making a new game and it's going to be cool. We will need your help."

Simon: "I'm going to try to make the same sound as a penguin. Here goes nothing!"

Simon: "When I defeat the bad guys I fall over a lot because I'm clumsy. It's ridiclious." He can't quite pronounce "ridiculous" yet.

Simon (all in one breath without any pause): "IloveDadandyouandUncleRyanandGrandmaandMsGracieandEliandmostlyGod. Phew! That's a ton of love!"

Simon ate cereal with milk on it for the first time today. Hurray for trying new things! He loved it, of course.
 He looked at me with milk dripping down his chin and said, "This is delicious! Thanks for not making me eat those nasty mashed potatoes!"
The last time we had him try mashed potatoes was weeks ago. Apparently, that made quite the negative impression.

Monday, February 27, 2012

"I'm a mammal"

Simon: "I'm a superhero named "That Boy"!"

As we were walking Simon to his Sunday school class yesterday,he looked at us and said, "I'm a mammal."

Simon (in his best robot voice): "I. Must. Find. Food. I must find. More. Food."

Simon was dancing around, singing, "Who can it be knocking at my door?" I love it when he makes up songs.

This morning, Simon was hanging off my hand. Jeff gave him a funny look, and Simon said to me, "I think Dad doesn't want me to hold your hand inappropriately." Then he stopped hanging off my hand. He's so funny!

Simon: "I sleep with my eyes closed."

Simon: "I have a brilliant idea! It's called 'we build a race car track."

Simon has learned the word 'mortify'. This is the way he used it this  morning:
"I'm mortified when I poop in my pants. It's kind of awkward."
Me: "I don't like it either when you do that. It's gross."
Simon: "Yeah. That too."

Saturday, February 25, 2012

"You're mysterious. Tell me stuff about you."

Happy Saturday!

Simon: "Mom, you rock!"

Simon has a play date with a little friend yesterday. He had a great time! When he got home he said, "I love Eli. He's unique!"

At the park, the two kids were pretending they were sailing a boat. Simon's friend asked which way they should go and Simon answered, "To North Carolina."

Simon: "You're mysterious. Tell me stuff about you."

Simon (last night): "I'm a bit fatigued."

We all watched Newsies last night. Simon is bopping around on the sofa, saying, "Strike. Strike. Strike."
I don't think he has the slightest idea what that word means.



Friday, February 24, 2012

Better than diamonds

Good morning!

I was getting Simon dressed. I told him to pick a shirt. He grabbed a shirt and said, "I shall wear this!"
He shall?

Simon: "It's hot in here. I can feel it in my gut."

Last night, Jeff was making dinner. Simon walked into the kitchen, inhaled deeply, and said, "I smell something I'm not going to eat."

Simon: "I got a surprise for you! It's a ball and it's better than diamonds!"

Thursday, February 23, 2012

"I'm fancy people!"

Simon: "How do we get outside?"
Me: "We'll walk down the stairs like usual."
Simon: "We can use parachutes and jump off the balcony!"

Simon was asking if either of us went to school. I told him that Jeff goes to college "like the fancy people" (I know that doesn't make any sense; I was tired) and Simon answered, "I'm fancy people! I can go to college right now."

Simon played with sidewalk chalk for the first time yesterday. I asked where he wanted to color and he yelled, "Your face!"

As Jeff was walking out the door, Simon grabbed him and said, "Come and see my toys!"
Jeff answered, "I can't, buddy. I have to go to work."
Simon tried to drag him into his room and said, "Don't worry. It's a shortcut!"

Simon and I were tossing a ball back and forth. I threw it while he wasn't paying attention and he didn't catch it. He said, "Oh no! I missed completely!"

Simon and I were having a pillow fight. He threw a pillow at me and said, "Take that, buddy who I've never me before!"

Once again, getting Simon to eat has proven difficult:
Simon: "I'm too nervous to eat."
Me: "What are you nervous about?"
Simon: "Eating."

Have a great day!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Your bad is saying "my bad"

I got my hair cut today. Jeff says that they were only twenty feet away from the stylists' (after dropping me off) when Simon said, "I miss Mom." What a sweetheart!

Jeff: "What's your favorite color?"
Simon: "My first favorite is red and my second favorite is green."
Jeff: "What's your third favorite?"
Simon: "White-tan!"

Simon decided that his "word of the day" (we have a different word every day. It improves his vocabulary) is "my bad". I think tomorrow's word will be "phrase".

Have a good night!

Friday, February 17, 2012

You're such a gentleman, Mom!"

Good morning! Some of these are from yesterday.

I opened the door for Simon and he said, "Thank you! You're such a gentleman, Mom!"

I suggested that Simon do something (I can't remember what it was) and he said, "I can dig it."
I'm ashamed to admit that he got that one from me.

Simon: "I want to go to St. Augustine."
Jeff: "Not today, buddy. Mom is sick."
Simon: "It's okay. She can wait in the car."
I hope he was at least planning to crack a window.

You know your kid is doing something he's not supposed to be doing if you say his name and he immediately answers, "Nothing".

Simon: "You're sick so I'm going to cheer you up with some jokes."
I love my little man!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"Being good is not as easy as it looks"

Simon asked, "Wanna see something intense?"
He then threw himself onto the floor and said, "It's a Buzz Lightyear flip!"

Simon: "How's your day so far?"
Me: "It's pretty good. How is your day?"
Simon: "Oh, you know. Business as usual."

Simon informed me that he's going to "a galaxy far, far away. It's called Florida." I had no idea that Florida was in another galaxy, but I suppose it makes sense.

Simon: "I need to practice."
Me: "What do you need to practice? Being cute?"
Simon: "No, I'm a natural at that. I need to practice whistling with my mouth and not tooting."

Simon solemnly informed me yesterday that "Being good is not as easy as it looks."

Simon built a sword out of megablocks. Of course it broke when he swung it. He looked at it and said, "Well, that was counterproductive."
It's been so long since he's said that!

We'll hopefully be taking Simon out to ride his new bike this afternoon. Have a great day!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Gently Defeated

Good morning! Some of these are from yesterday.

We were in the car. Simon asked, "Where are we going?"
Me: "To the library."
Simon: "And then we're going to the toy store to get me something!"
Me: "Simon, I didn't say that."
Simon: "I just said what Dad was thinking."
Ha ha ha!

I told Jeff that he lost his marbles. Simon yelled, "Yeah, Dad! You lost your mamas!"

Simon: "Mom, I respect you, so I defeat you gently."

Simon: "When I'm four, I'll be a superhero!"

Have a good day!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

You're a cannibal!

I told Simon to eat his breakfast so that he would have energy for the day. He answered, "Only God gives me energy!"

Simon: "Mom, I aimed my weapon at you. I need to defeat you 'cause you're the villain."

Simon: "I'm back from outer space!"
Me: "What did you see out there?"
Simon: "Planets and stars and stuff."
Me: "Do you know the names of any of the planets you saw?"
Simon shrugs: "They were just planets. And Africa."
Hahahaha!

While playing with some cups in the bathtub, Simon explained that he was "getting deep into the earth." I asked him what he was going to do once he dug deep into the earth, and he answered, "I'm going to make soup!"

Simon: "Can we go back to Mr. Terry and Miss Stephanie's house? 'Cause it's more awesomer there."

Simon (to me): "You're a cannibal!"
I don't think he knows the definition of that word.

Simon: "Can you be pregnant? Please?"
I told him what that word means. He gave me a look of exasperation and said, "I know!"

Monday, February 6, 2012

"I text everyone on my list"

Happy Monday (no sarcasm intended)!

While at a SuperBowl party last night, Simon managed to "acquire" a cell phone. After sending a bunch of random messages, he said, "I text everyone on my list."
This morning he brought it up again and said, "I sent a secret plan to everybody on the phone. It was a scheme."

Simon: "I'm an expert at laughing. Hahahahahaha! See?"

Simon: "Knock, knock."
Me: "Who's there?"
Simon: "Fast Boy."
Me: "Fast Boy who?"
Simon: "Fast Boy who wants to open the door and go to the football party and say 'happy birthday' to that one Terry guy. Hahahaha!"
I'm not sure he understands the whole "joke" concept yet.

In unrelated news, Simon wore underwear to bed last night and stayed dry all night! I am so excited!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Happy Birthday to my Pants!

Simon: "Happy Birthday to my pants!"

Simon: "My Daddy is a loving Daddy because he loves me so so so much."
Yup!

Simon: "Scram is the word of the day."
Me: "Do you know what that means?"
Simon: "It means "go away". "
Me: "I guess I better go away, then" (I walked out of his room)
Simon (calling after me): "Thanks for scramming!"

Simon: "I have to bury you!"
Me: "That's not very nice."
Simon: "But the squirrel in Cat in the Hat (the tv show) buries things."
Me: "He only buries nuts."
Simon: "You're a nut!"
Touche.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Simon explains what his job is

We had tacos and tortilla chips with salsa the other night. Simon said, "I need bigger pants 'cause I ate a lot of chips!"

Simon: "Mom, are you fond of me?"
Me: "Yes, I am."
Simon: "Does that mean you're partial to me?"
Me: "I am partial to you, buddy."
Simon: "Does that mean you love me?"
Me: "I love you sooo much!"
Simon: "Aww. I'm fond of you too."

Simon gave me a hug. Then he looked at me and said, "I'm uncomfortable 'cause you're metal."
Uh, really?

Simon: "Uncle Ryan's going to come play, and I'm NEVER going to take a nap! Deal?"

Simon (while playing with his cars): "Uh, excuse me? I need a little help over here!"

Simon: "Part of your job is to clean stuff like the dishes and the silverware. My job is to see how fast cars go."
I made him help me unload the dishwasher. So there, buddy!

Have a great Friday!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

"I talk a lot. Is it okay if I ramble on!"

Good morning!

I took Simon to the playground yesterday. I told him which way to go, and he said, "Good thinking, Mom!" He tries so hard to be encouraging.

I congratulated Simon on doing a good job on something and he said, "That's 'cause I'm a genius. Hahahaha! It's just a joke."

Simon: "I have to pounce on Dad and take him down, 'cause he's the bad guy!"
Me: "Well, make sure you're not too rough."
Simon: "Oh. I guess I'll pounce on Dad and give him a hug."

Simon was pretending he was a knight. He told me, "You get to be my squire. Help me put on my gauntlet."
Silly boy.

Simon: "I have something to show you. It's so cool, you won't believe it!"

Simon: "I talk a lot. Is it okay if I ramble on?"
Hahahaha! This one had me rolling on the floor!"