"That's all you need to know"

As Jeff was walking out the door Simon said, "Don't forget to give Matt a hug!"
Matt is Jeff's co-worker.

Simon: "I dreamed Dad and you were in a jeep. And it was rus-ty!"

Simon had a piece of paper that he'd "written a note on".
"My note says, "Come to Simon's birthday on PBSkids.org"."

Simon: "He is so helicoptory I can't think!"
He was talking about one of his toys, I think. I'm honestly not sure.

After going puddle jumping with me (we had so much fun!) Simon said, "I'm getting puddle sick."

Simon: "Do you want to play transformers and a disk?"
Me: "I don't know how to play that."
Simon: "You have a transformer and a disk to throw. That's all you need to know."

Simon: "I'm a cool toy! I'm fast, and I glow in the dark, and my hands turn like this" (demonstration here), "I am a cool human!"

I hope you're having a great weekend!

"A smaller version of me"

I had to write two posts today because Simon is being so funny!

Simon made a robot out of megablocks. Then he shocked me by saying, "Let's see how this baby works. Start 'er up!"

I helped Simon with his megablock creation. I said, "I think we make a good team.", to which he answered, "Almost, but not quite. We need to build a bigger robot."

Simon won't wear band-aids, but I've discovered that if I call them "wraps" his reaction is very different: "Amazing wraps! I'm so excited to wear one!"

Simon: "I'm a smaller version of me".

Brilliant and famous

Simon was "creating a volmegatron" (his words). He told me it was going to be "brilliant and famous".

We played Telephone with Simon. "Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers" became "Rubber buggy poopers." Gotta love my silly boy!

Simon has a shoe string that he's been pretending is attached to a grappling hook. He tried to swing on it. Needless to say, it didn't support his weight. He reenacted what happened and said, "See? That's the situation of swinging."

Simon wanted to take his paper roll "gauntlets" into the bath with him.
Me: "We're going to leave them out because if they get wet, they'll be ruined."
Simon: "They won't get wet. Believe me!"
Me: "We're going to leave them out to be on the safe side."
Simon: "Be on my safe side!" (he put every ounce of betrayal he was feeling into that statement.)

Feline Friends

Simon saw a truck about to pass under some traffic lights, prompting this comment: "Look, a semi truck! It's huge! I hope it doesn't hit those lights!"

Simon (yelling at the plane flying overhead), "Wait, jet plane! I want to play with you!"

There was a cat at the playground today. It fell in love with Simon. It followed him up the stairs to the slide, through the tunnel, and would jump down and wait for Simon at the bottom of the slide.It did this for about forty minutes, then it rubbed up against Simon one last time and sauntered away. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever! And, of course, I left the camera inside.

Simon picked a dandelion and blew the top off (he inhaled so deeply, I thought he was going to suck the whole thing into his mouth). Then he politely tried to stick the weed back into the ground! He couldn't understand why I was laughing.

Simon said wistfully, "I always wanted headlights."

Simon said, "I got a coupon for you!"
It turns out he had ripped a picture of a brownie out of the paper.

Enjoy your day!

Gotta Dance!

Simon (to a Publix employee): " 'S' is for Simon. That's my name! Just so you know."

Simon: "Sometimes you just gotta dance!"

Last night Simon asked, "Can I have something that has sugar?"

Simon: "We need to go to the craft store to get you a pirate sword."
Jeff: "Oh yeah?"
Simon: "Yeah, we need to get you a pirate sword 'cause I need two."
Sneaky,sneaky!

Onomatopoeia!

What's the rush?

I opened the sliding glass door. Simon asked why and I said, "So we can get some fresh air."
Simon: "I already have air."
Me: "Okay. I can leave the door shut if you want."
Simon: "Wait. I'll have more air, if you please."

Simon: "Bad guys don't need hats."
Oh-kay?

Simon: "If someone says something foolish, you say 'that's okay'."

Simon solemnly said, "I have a lot to say."
Just on the off chance I didn't already know that.

While he was supposed to be taking a nap, Simon slid a piece of paper (with scribbles on it) under his door and into the hallway. He explained that it was a not that said, "I can't come say the day with Batman 'cause I have to take a nap."
Look at me, getting in the way of his superhero endeavors.

Simon has a pretend batarang. He says it's his "personality weapon".

Simon was running around the house making weird faces. He explained, "I was pretending my bum was on fire."

Simon: "Stop calling me Sir! I'm a kid!"

Simon: "What's the rush?"
Me: "There's no rush?"
Simon: "Oh. What's the hurry?"

Rusty sandwiches

Simon: "I cracked acorns with Eli at church." (Eli is a little friend of his)
Me: "How did you do that?"
Simon: "Easily. It's kind of a long story."

On the way back from the playground yesterday, Simon's feet were dragging. Once we got to our front door he said, "Phew! That took longer than I thought!"

Simon (taking a big drink): "Wow! This cup actually works!"

Simon's newest excuse for not eating: "This sandwich is rusty."

While playing in the sand, Simon told me he was "making burrows for the meerkats." Well, he definitely does not lack in imagination.

I always ask Simon if he had any good dreams the night before. Usually he says no, but today his answer was a little different: "I was a bat transformer that looked like a giant batglider and I was in the batcave and Batman was helping me defeat the bad guys!" He said this all in one breath.

Enjoy your day!

"Maniacal laugh"

Simon: "Dad, you need to talk about God."
Jeff: "Of course, buddy! I'll talk about God with you anytime you want. What do you want to talk about?"
Simon: "About God creating things like tigers, and jaguars and zoo animals."

Simon: "I got a sunburn."
Me: "You do not."
Simon: "Yes, I do."
Me: "Where?"
Simon: "Right where the sun is going to hit me."
Me: "Where's that?"
Simon: "On my toe. So can you shut the blinds?"

Simon watched The Muppets last night. Now he's saying "maniacal laugh" every few minutes. I have a feeling this is going to get old pretty quickly.

Simon has been holding out on me; it turns out he can say "Deuteronomy" just fine. I wonder how long he's been pretending to mispronounce it. Silly  boy!

Simon: "Big Bird keeps getting frustrated at me and jumping up my nose!"
I looked over, and Simon was throwing his stuffed Big Bird at his face repeatedly.

Twinkle little stars

Simon was watching America's Funniest Videos. A man was about to crash his bike, which usually happens at least once in every episode. Simon yelled, "That's not safe driving! Watch out how you drive!"

Simon looked up at the sky last night and said, "Look. Twinkle little stars!"

I told Simon that's he has a dentist appointment and he yelled, "Hurray!"
How often does that happen when someone hears the word 'dentist'?

Right after Jeff got out of the shower, Simon told him that he smells stinky (he doesn't of course). Jeff asked where he'd gotten that idea and Simon said, "It's a thought that I'm thinking." Poor Jeff.

Have a great day!

Good Morning! I hope you all enjoyed your Saturday.

Simon: "You're not gown up yet, you're still a mom."
Peter Pan isn't the only one who will never grow up.

Simon was Robin yesterday. He informed me that I was Batman (he switched to Jeff being Batman later and I got demoted to Batwing). He wanted to teach me a "Robin dance" dance because "It might come in handy!"

We watched Hairspray yesterday, so I took the opportunity to explain the word 'equality' to Simon. I told him the God loves us whether our skin is black or white. He examined his arm for a minute, then said, "Actually, my skin is a little pink."

Simon: "I'm the expert all about everything."

Simon invented a new villain: Sludge Man, who makes sludge!
I love how creative he is!

I took him out to blow bubbles yesterday. He stuck a couple of his bubble wands together and blew into one to make a bubble come out the other. I was really surprised that it worked. He looked a little bit like the caterpillar blowing smoke rings in the animated Alice in Wonderland movie. Here are some pictures:

"Do you like my head?"

We were running an errand yesterday. Simon looked out his car window and said, "If you look out my left window you'll see a semi-truck!" He sounded just like a tour guide.

I was trying to make sure Simon stayed hydrated yesterday (too much time running around in the sun, not enough liquid can cause a big problem) so I made a "glowing" drink (a pink glowstick in the bottom of a mug, a clear cup with water or any pale liquid nestled in the mug so that the glowstick shines through the clear glass and makes the drink "glow"). Simon was guzzling it down and I was congratulating myself until he said, "I love my poison!"

Simon: "I'm Super Grappling Hook Mascot Boy!"

Simon came running into the room and said angrily, "My mean strong bones!"
Me: "Why are your bones mean?"
Simon: "'Cause they made me bonk my knee!"

Simon: "Do you like my head?:
Me: (What?) "Sure. It's a nice shape." What do I say to that question?
Simon: "No! I mean do you like the thoughts in my head?"
Me: "Oh! Yes, I do. You're very smart and creative."


Have a great day!

Jumping on the neighbors

Simon saw a bug this morning. Having seen me "take care" of a bug before, he grabbed my shoe and slammed it down on the bug. Then he picked the shoe up, looked, and said, "Oh no! I smushed my buggy friend! Please forgive me!"

Jeff: "I wonder if mixing coffee and ovaltine would taste good?"
Simon: "It's worse a try!"
I think he meant "it's worth a try".

Every morning we wave to Jeff as he leaves for work. Simon always yells something (that Jeff can't hear, since we're waving out the window), usually a thank-you for whatever toy he's playing with at the moment. Yesterday, he shook things up a bit: "I hope you drive safe! Thanks for having Uncle Ryan come over!"

Simon decided to try jump roping in the house. When I told him not to, he said, "I won't jump on the neighbors. Promise!"
Guess who hears the phrase "We've got neighbors" at least one a week?

Simon: "I have a germ on my stomach?"
Me: "Just one germ? On your stomach?"
Simon: "Yes."
Me: "Well, you're getting a bath. That germ will come right off."
Simon: "Thank goodness! I was getting worried."

Simon practices writing his letters

                                                 Simon practices tracing letters for the first time

                                     Simon's first attempt. He's going to need some practice, of course.

                                  This is what happens when Jeff "helps" Simon "write his letters". Uh, Jeff?

Spacey Chicken

Good Morning! Some of these are from yesterday.

Simon: "My show was on and you were psycho."
Me: "I was psycho?" I would have raised my eyebrow if I could do that.
Simon: "It was just a joke."

Simon: "Good morning!"
Me: "Did you have a good nap?"
Simon: "I did. I actually slept! Did you hear me sleeping?"

Jeff was helping Simon practice writing yesterday. He's still in the letter-tracing stage. Jeff asked Simon what he wanted to write and Simon answered, "Let's write 'Optimus Prime'!" He is such a boy.

Simon: "Thanks for making chicken that's fresh and not spacey."
Me: "Do you mean spicy?"
Simon: "Yup".

Me: "How are you doing?"
Simon: "I'm doing yes and no."
Hehehe.

Simon: "I didn't get enough sleep last night, so I might be kind of grumpy."
Thanks for the warning!

Technically...

We've had a family in town for the past six days. It's been a fun, busy week.
We all went to the zoo on Wednesday. Here are some zoo-related Simon-isms:

Me: "Did you have fun at the zoo yesterday?"
Simon: "Yesterday was kind of rough, then good."
Me: "Oh. What was rough about it?"
Simon: "When that bird wouldn't hold still so Dad could take a picture of it."
Me: "What was good?"
Simon: "When it held still."

Me: "What did you see at the zoo?"
Simon: "A diplodocus."

Simon had a bird relieve itself on his hat while we were at the zoo. It didn't mar the day at all, but Simon did tell me today that the bird that pooped on his hat was a hawk.

I took Simon in a bathroom that had an automatic towel dispenser. Simon's reaction to that was, "That's just wrong!"

The rearview mirror in our car has a little display on it that shows which direction we're driving (i.e. "e" for east). Jeff explained that to Simon. As we were driving to the store today, Simon said, "E is for east. S is for south."
Jeff: "Do you know what 'n' is for?"
Simon: "North Carolina!"

Simon: "Technically, I don't actually need a nap."

Those kind of girls

Good morning! These are from Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

We were playing Go Fish with Simon (he was cheating). Jeff was trying to explain the rules and Simon said, "I don't know about this."

We were helping Simon put together a puzzle. He was about to put the last piece in and he said, "I have a bad feeling about this."

Simon asked me a question about penguins. I answered him and he said, "Tell me more." He had a look of intense concentration on his face.

Simon: "Our windchime is dinging! It's making beautiful music!"

The other night I stopped into Panda. I don't think I've been to one of those since Simon was born. It was definitely foreign to him. He waited in the car with Jeff while I ran in and out. Jeff told me about this conversation that the two of them had:
Simon: "Is Mom on of those kinds of girls?"
Jeff: "What kind?"
Simon: "Those kind."
Jeff: 'The kind that likes Panda food?"
Simon: "Yes."
Jeff: "Unfortunately she is."
Simon: "It's okay. Maybe she wanted to try something new."

I was in the bathroom yesterday and suddenly I saw some fingers inch their way under the door. Then I heard Simon yell into the small gap between the door and the floor, "Mom, I'm giving you privacy!"

There's a little wooden bridge on the way to the church parking lot that Simon loves to run across. Usually, he stays on the path, but yesterday he was all over the place. Jeff took Simon aside and said to him: "See the pretty bushes and the grass that's nicely trimmed? That's called landscaping. We want to be respectful of that okay?"
Ha ha ha! I can't even think about that without laughing!

Simon: "Mom, I'm defeating the crack heads!"
Me: "What!?!"
Simon: "Those bad guys that like crackers!"
I still have no idea where that came from, but at least it wasn't what it sounded like.

"I have good earsight!"

Simon tried to run up his wall. Obviously, that didn't work the way he planned. While I was making sure all his parts still worked, he calmly looked up at me and said, "I forgot to think before I act."
No kidding. He's fine, by the way. He fell on his bed and not on the floor.

Simon's new word is 'ecstatic'. Today he said, "I'm so ecstatic over Dr. Seuss' party!"
We're going to have some Seuss related fun tomorrow.

When we were outside yesterday, Simon said, "I can hear the plane because I have good earsight!"

In a recent development, Simon has an imaginary brother who seems to be responsible for everything that could be considered misbehavior.