Disturbing

Simon: "Dad, did you make my toy in China?"
Jeff: "No. Why do you ask?"
Simon: "Because it says "China" on it. See? C-H-I-N-A."

Simon was yanking his hair, hard. I asked him why he was doing that and he said, "I was checking to see if I have Lego hair. I don't."

I asked Simon if he liked his new haircut and he said, "I want my hair just longer again so I look like a wookie." Cue the pout.

Simon was pretending he was asleep this morning. I said to Jeff, "You can tell Simon is pretending because he has a smile on his face."
Without opening his eyes, Simon immediately assumed an angry expression.

Simon belched then said, "Now that's disturbing."

Me: "Guess what, Simon? You get to go to school tomorrow!"
Simon: "No, thanks, 'cause I'll miss you."
Awwww!

Simon: "Can I have some chips?"
Me: "No." (It was eight a.m.)
Simon: "But I need a meal fit for a king!"
I'm still laughing about that one.