Wishful Thinking

Simon: "We have to go to the new Winn Dixie that's up the street. It just has robots that are only for kids and it's by the chicken and fries place so we might as well stop there too."
Wishful thinking.

Simon was rolling around in his blankets. He wound himself up like a hotdog and said, "I'm stuck tighter than an astronaut!"
Huh?

Me: "Hey, Simon, what do you want for lunch?"
Simon: "Your face! Hahaha!"
He's been learning from Jeff.

Simon explained why he kept getting out of bed last night: "I was seeing what you were doing to make sure it was still boring."

Simon: "Mom, do you love me even when I belch like this: BWWUUUUPPP!?"

Simon, talking to Jeff on the phone: "Dad, you're uber-cool!"

Simon: "Mom, I smell ripe. I'm good to eat and I need a bath."

I got a phone call from the library, saying Simon won a prize for reading. I told him and he immediately said, "Is my prize a toy? I think is must be a trophy!"

Simon: "I believe in God so I'm going to Heaven with you but I'm going to bring macaroni and cheese in case I get hungry and a bed for when I'm tired."