"Mom, you crack me up"

Good morning! A couple of these are from yesterday.

Jeff told me this one, I didn't hear it: We took Simon for a play date with one of his little buddies at the park yesterday. As they were on the swings, Simon's buddy said, "Simon, I'm not wearing my boots today."
Simon answered, "That's a bummer, but your shoes are cool." to which his friend replied, "I like your shoes too." They're both such sweet kids!

Simon: "I'm Dwigger. I'm a transformer that transforms into a dirt bike!"

Simon was listening to the song "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands". He looked at me and said, "God's hands are HUGE!"

I had a dumb moment where I told Simon to eat his food in the bathroom. I think I was trying to get him to eat his breakfast and asking him if he needed to use the restroom at the same time. Simon looked at me and said, "Mom, you crack me up." At least I'm good for a laugh.

To Serve And Predict

Simon said that his toy car is "faster than steel!"

This morning, Simon ran into my room, threw himself on the bed, and yelled, "I'm exhausted!"

Simon: "I sat on the potty too long. I have two bum rashes."

Simon: "I want cookies, but not the raw cookies."
I guess that's his way of saying he doesn't want cookie dough.

Simon: "Mom, I'm a police man. It's my job to serve and predict you."
Ha ha ha!

Enjoy your weekend!

"Don't eat Mom, bug!"

Hi! Here are some more Simon-isms:

Simon: "Eat healthy, be happy!"
Me: "Where on earth did you hear that?"
Simon: "On PBS Kids dot org."
You know he has a good memory when he has the website that's advertised before Super Why memorized.

At dinner time, Jeff said to Simon, "Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you'll receive a big surprise." to try to get Simon to eat his carrots.
Simon's version: "Close your eyes and eat your carrot and you will receive a prize." Ha ha!

Simon fell over. He immediately jumped back up and said, "The skeletons under my body are okay!"

Simon: "Thanks for putting chocolate in the brownies."

I have a bug bite on my elbow. Simon saw it and said, "I think you were bit by a fruit fly. Don't eat Mom, bug!"

Jeff read Simon the story of the last supper this morning. I asked Simon what the story was about. He said: "Jesus said something important about supper." We might need to explain that one again.

Simon: "I'm a robot that turns into a washing machine."

Simon: "Crocodiles creep me out."

Have a good one!

Jet Bum

I've been pretty bad at writing these things down lately, so I've only got a few today:

Simon has what I like to call a "little crap" toy. You know, the kind of toys that show up in kid meals? Anyway, he has one that looks like a robot with a jet pack. He has decided to name it Jet Bum.

Simon: "I want macaroni and cheese. I can eat it easily."

I did something ridiculous and Jeff was laughing about it. Simon went running over and started poking and punching him (gently, with no intent to hurt). Jeff said, "What's that for!?!" and Simon answered, "You laughed at Mom!" Hehe.

Simon informed me that we were going to build minions out of megablocks.

DESTROY!

Good morning!

There is something intimidating about seeing a three year old run at you, swinging a paper towel tube and yelling, "DESTROY!"
Of course, it's Simon, so he accidentally hit himself in the head while swinging his tube around.

Simon (to me): "In my opinion, you're the best in the whole world! But I'm the only superhero in the earth."

Simon: "Mom, I'm going to season your breakfast."
Me: "That's very nice of you, but it's lunchtime and I'm just making a sandwich,so I don't need to season anything. Thank you, though."
Simon: "I'll slice the cheese!"

I heard Simon calling me from the dining room: "Mom, I seem to have gotten stuck."
Hahaha!
He wasn't really stuck, he was hiding under the table, pretending he was stuck under a rock.

I hope you enjoy your weekend!

Invincibility

Good morning! Here are some more Simon-isms! Warning: one of them has to do with toilet training.

Me: "Simon, why did you poop in your pants?"
Simon: "It's kind of a long story."

Simon nearly took a head dive into the bathtub yesterday. I told him he needed to be careful and he said, "I'm pretending I'm invincible!" (I think he finally understands what the word means, Terry and Stephanie.Teehee!)

Simon: "Let me give you some information about being fast. It's tough to do."

I caught Simon before he fell off his chair this morning. He looked at me and yelled, "You are the best superhero ever!"

Have a wonderful day!

Gross Questions

Simon: "May I pick my nose?"
Me: "Ew! No."
Simon: "May I pick your nose?"

Simon was pretending to sword fight me. I said, "Oh no! You defeated me!" and he answered, "It's not the end of the world, we can play again." Silly boy.

Lately, when I put Simon down for nap (or to bed) he says, "Will I ever see you again?"



Here's a question, for those of you with kids: Simon has started telling me that he's a terrible boy, or other things like that. I can't figure out where he's been hearing those phrases, but I'm trying to nip that in the bud. Has anyone else had this problem? If so, what did you do about it?

Violent Prayers

Simon looked out the window early in the morning. The moon was still out, of course. He looked at me and said, "The moon is still up! It's probably because I woke up at two minutes. That's pretty early."

Simon wanted me to race his toys cars with him. He kept putting his car in front and starting early. I asked him if he was trying to cheat and he answered, "I'm attempting to win."
I love that he knows that word!

Simon wanted me to play with him. I told him I'd come play with his cars with him after I started a load of laundry. He said, "I need to tell you something." I went into his room with him and he LOCKED THE DOOR! Then he said, "You have to play right now."

I thanked Simon for being so helpful yesterday and he said, "I was glad to do it."

I was humming under my breath. Simon asked me why and I told him that I had a song stuck in my head. I asked if he ever gets songs stuck in his head and he said, "Yes. That's why I get dizzy."

Last week, I told Simon to pray before lunch and he threw himself on the floor. I thought he was throwing a temper tantrum until he explained to me: "I'm bowing to God." Even his prayers are violent. Jeesh!

Enjoy your Friday!

Why Simon Doesn't Do Somersaults

Simon: "If I want to be a bad guy I have to put a lot of money into my band 'cause bommerays, and grappling hooks, and all that other nonsense is expensive."
It's good to know that Simon has specific reasons to save. Ha ha!

Simon: "Am I a monster that turns into a knight, or a superhero that turns into a knight, or a human being that turns into a knight?"
Me: "Well, you're a human being."
Simon: "You're right! I am! You're so smart!"

Simon: "I have to give you a little something." He ran over and gave me a big hug, "Love! It's the best gift!"

Simon: "I can't do a somersault."
Me: "Sure you can. You just need practice."
Simon: "No, because I don't have a helmet for my crotch."
What!?!
I gave Simon a candy kiss and he asked, "Is this chocolate?"
I said yes and Simon gave me a big (chocolaty) grin. "It's GREAT!"