Top Notch

Simon: "Keep God number one on your Life List."

Simon: "I built a haunted castle! Actually, it's not really haunted because I don't want anything too ghastly. I don't want to scare myself, or you."

Simon was playing at a friend's house. I reminded him that he was supposed to be helping to clean up (there was obviously no cleaning going on), and I heard a little voice in the next room say, "Uh oh. She can tell we aren't cleaning. "
I'm not one hundred percent sure whose son it was that said it, but it was pretty funny.

Simon: "Knock, knock."
Me: "Who's there? "
Simon: "Police. "
Me: "Police who? "
Simon: "Policed to meet you. " Pauses for a minute: "I don't get it. "

Simon, looking at my stomach: "I think Oliver is getting pretty bored in there."

Simon, on the subject of whale crackers: "These are top notch."

Simon: "I have about a million Legos, figuratively."
I love that he felt the urge to add that word!

Simon, looking up from the book he was reading in the car: "Wow, Dad! I thought we were still in the apartment! Either you're a great driver, or you really put the metal to the pedal!"

While eating dinner with friends: "Sometimes Mom says snakes are poisonous, instead of saying "venomous". It's really annoying. No offense. "