Spin the Bottle

Simon: "Tim scared the good mood out of Scamps."
Me, laughing: "Really?"
Simon: "I didn't want to say c-r-u-d."

Simon: "I'm really picky."
Me: "Yes, you are. Sometimes it's funny and sometimes it's. .."
Simon: "Remarkable? "
Jeff: "Sure. Let's go with 'remarkable'."

We bought Simon a cookie from Chick-fil-A today. He read the ingredients list, saw that it contained soy and wheat, and refused to eat it, thinking that it would taste like a plant.

Simon: "I just want to be famous!"
Me: "What do you want to be famous for?"
Simon: "For being in a coloring book."
The crayola website has an option to put your picture in a coloring book. I didn't know that could make a person famous.

Simon: "I'm sorry! This episode [of his show] has a lot of flashing lights. Is your apple-epsy okay?"

We were in the car and Simon asked, "Do you smell anything? "
Jeff said, "I think it's just stale air, buddy. "
Simon answered, "I was asking because I farted and I wanted to know if you smelled it. "
Jeff laughed and said, "Whoever smelt it dealt it. "
Simon said, "Ohhh, I SMELT it! "

So, this just happened:
While praying at bedtime tonight, Simon started out: "Dear God, please forgive me-"
Then he stopped and said, "What?"
Jeff replied, "You can ask for forgiveness."
Simon answered,"I just didn't know what I was saying."
Then he started laughing. He eventually stopped and stared at Jeff bemusedly. Then he said, almost in a hushed tone, "My mind's gone blank!"
Needless to say, Jeff wound up praying.

Simon: "Aw, man! I have to stand up. Standing up is a hard task!"

Simon: "I'm scared of heights! I think it's because of when I was little and Dad accidentally threw me too high and I hit the ceiling."
Jeff, indignantly: "Hey! The ceiling was lower in the hall than in the living room. It's not my fault!"
Simon: "Bwahaha!"

Poor Simon! He's on the tail end (I hope!) of a cold and couldn't sleep last night because of the coughing and drainage. It was heartbreaking listening to him sob, "I hate this whole sequence of events!", (even when he's upset, he still talks like a little old man).

This rather disturbing conversation took place last night
Simon: "Can I play Spin the Bottle? "
Me: "You're not old enough for that. "
Simon: "Oh. What is it?"
Jeff: "It's a game where you spin a bottle and you kiss the person it points at. Do you want to smooch a bunch of people? "
Simon, waggling his eyebrows: "Maybe one person. "

Simon: "Judging by how picky he is, and how much he kicks you, I think Little Nugget will throw fits a lot."

Simon: "If I could go to any time, I'd go to the future so I can laugh at myself if I'm wearing argyle socks. "

Simon, sounding panicked: "My shirt doesn't fit at all! I could barely get my arm in. I think I need a size fourteen! "