Mind of a Tiger

Simon: "I have the mind of a tiger and the stealth of a panther. Why else would I go crazy at night sometimes and mess up my bed? Mind of a tiger, man. "

Simon, trying to figure out why he hasn't had an answer to the fan letter he wrote to his favorite author: "Maybe he's gone and he's not coming back. As in d-e-a-d."
Me: "I really doubt he's dead. Usually when a famous author passes away, you hear about it on the news. "
Simon: "Maybe he lost his pencil! "

Simon: "I just invented a new food. Ready? It's a waffle with syrup and vanilla ice cream on it, all rolled up."

Simon: "Hey, Mom?"
Me: "Yeah, buddy?"
Simon: "I'm glad you're my mom."
Me: "Well, I'm glad you're my son."
Simon: "I'm glad Dad is my dad."
Me: "I'm glad he is too."
Simon: "Can I have another kiss goodnight? The last one didn't take."

Simon was coloring a conquistador mask for history. He said that "nothing says "bold" like periwinkle." I bet he's the first ever periwinkle conquistador.