French Fries

Simon: "French fries, french."
Me: "What?"
Simon: "Pretend you don't understand me."
Me: "I really don't understand you."
Simon: "I'm speaking a different language, like in the Tower of Babel."

Simon was watching "Underdog". In the episode, they had just called in the Air Force. Simon looked at me and asked, "Why are they calling the airport?"

Simon (in his most pathetic voice): "I need to go to the hospital."
Me: "Why?"
Simon: "I scraped my finger."
Oi.

Me: "That cat is so cute! I want to take it home with me."
Simon: "Welcome to my world."I tucked Simon into bed. He immediately got out of bed and walked to the door. I asked what he was doing (it was more of a "what do you think you're doing, young man?") and he said, "I'm opening the door for you like a gentleman. When I grow up, I want to be a gentleman, like Dad."

Simon was throwing himself around the living room. After a couple minutes of this, he looked at me and said, "I just love to dance around!"

Simon said "Welcome to my world" again. Then he looked at me with confusion and said, "You didn't laugh?!?". That made me laugh and he said, "There it is." Silly boy.

Simon accused me of not telling the truth about something. I got annoyed about it (I'm not always as patient with him as I should be, I admit it) and said, "So, you think I'm a big, fat, liar?". Simon answered, "No. I think you're a big, fat, not a liar."
Ouch.