Railrang

Simon told me he's a "geekasaurus".
Simon: "You know me so well, you know me better than I know myself. It's annoying."
Me: " Really? Why is it annoying?"
Simon: "How am I supposed to get to know myself if you know me better?"
Simon: "You know how people say baseball is America's pastime?"
Me: "Yes."
Simon: "Well, nowadays I think it's yelling. I mean, they even yell in baseball!"
Simon says he wants to sell Jello on a stick to help earn money for a Lego set he wants. He also has a backup plan for when he runs out of Jello: he'll sell ice for five cents a cube.
Simon:"What did the worker at the trampoline factory say when someone asked if he liked his job?"
Me: "I don't know. What?"
Simon: "He said, "It has its ups and downs"."


I told Simon to clip his nails. He held up the nail clippers and dramatically said, "Tyranny! I curse the day these things were invented!"
Simon: "If you had to pick only one, what would you say my most charming character trait is?"
Me: "Charming? Well, I love how kind-hearted you are."
Simon: "Really? I thought you'd say my excellent hearing."
Simon: "I hate allergies! Why did God create them?"
Me: "I don't know. You'll have to ask Him when you see Him"
Simon: "I'm not dying just to ask Him that!"
Last night I learned that Simon thinks "railrang" is a word, and "railing" isn't. He didn't believe me when I told him. The situation grew quite heated: multiple dictionaries were consulted. He even paused in the middle of the game we were playing to look it up. Words are very important in our house.