Runaway Girls' Night

Simon: "Are you going to have a runaway girls' night? "
Me: "What's that? "
Simon: "It's where you run away so me and Dad can have a guys' night. "

Simon: "When you're done being pregnant, I'm going to teach you some Karate Kwan Do moves. "
Apparently, Simon has come up with his own martial art. Ha ha!

Simon: "I tried to teach Scamps some basic Spanish, but she didn't care. "
He tried to teach her the words "Hola" and "Azul". How would a cat react to those words anyway?

Simon: "Mom, I have a question: how long do you have to stick your tongue out before it dries out? "

Simon got out of bed after he was supposed to be in for the night, and said to me, "I require more hugs and kisses from the mommage."