Batting Cages

Jeff: "I really want to visit the batting cages."
Simon: "Is that the cage where the bats live?"

Simon: "I never want to wear a tuxedo again. "
Me: "Why not? You looked handsome. "
Simon: "Yeah. Too handsome. Do you know what I'm getting at? I don't want to wear a tuxedo and look too fancy. "
Me, jokingly: "Girls like it when a man looks fancy. "
Simon: "Okay, I want to look fancy. "

Simon shares some viewpoints on the new baby:
Simon: "Are you sure you're pregnant and you didn't just eat too much food and that's why you're sick?"
Me: "No, buddy. I'm pregnant. Remember the pictures we showed you?"
Simon: "But it just looked like a watermelon. I don't want to have a baby."
Me: "Why not?"
Simon: "I don't want to change poopy diapers."
Me: "Dad and I will take care of the poopy diapers. You can play with the baby, and hold it."
Simon: "But what if it poopy diapers me while I'm holding it? You know, like a house getting egged, except I'm the house?"