Chattering

Simon: "Can you sew me socks?"
Me: "I don't know how to do that, buddy."
Simon: "First you measure my foot, then you sew the sock as big as my foot is. Like, nine feet,or something. Do you know how to measure?"
Me: "I know how to measure. I don't know if that would work, though."
Simon: "Well, you can just ask Miss Gracie."

Simon saw an add for Chick-Fil-A. He looked amazed and said, "Wow! That cow can write the alphabet?"

Simon is smacking himself in the face. I told him to stop hitting himself and he said, "I'm not. I'm fixing my hair." He grooms himself very violently.

I went to get Simon up this morning and he was lying there with his tongue hanging out. It turns out, he was playing dead like a grass snake does so that animals won't eat it.


Simon finished praying this morning. Then he looked at Jeff (who hadn't known he was praying) and asked, "Did you hear my chattering?"

Simon: "I thought only kids had birthdays!"

After reading about a "whopper" of a snake, Simon said, "A whopper is a sandwich, not a snake."