Simon grabbed me yesterday and tried to give me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Aside from scaring me half to death (who expects their kid to grab their face and start blowing?), I got a shot of gummy-bear smelling air right up my nose. We had a long talk about what's appropriate and what isn't, during which Simon explained that he wasn't being inappropriate, he was trying to save my life. Yikes!
Simon: "I made this picture to make you happy. There's Chinese writing on it. See?"
Me: "Wow! What does it say?"
Simon: "I don't know. I can't read Chinese."
Simon has been standing by the front door for the last five minutes. I just asked what he's doing and he said, "I was going to surprise Dad, but now I'm just going to be a gentleman and open the door."
Simon prayed, "Thank you for the possibility to go to the doctor because it's been so long..." I really don't want to be the one to tell him he's going to need shots.
Simon asked me to put red dye in the bathtub so he can swim in the Red Sea. He also wants bubbles because he thinks the water must have been bubbly when God parted the Red Sea. Ha ha!
Simon: ""Never say never". I just said "never" twice!"
Simon: "I'll scare you, okay?"
Me: "Uh..Okay?"
Simon: "Bah! Now you react. Well, scream."
Me: "Simon, I'm not scared because I knew it was coming. You can't tell me you're about to scare me."
Simon: " Oh. Sorry 'bout that. I'm going to try again. Bah! Well, react."
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