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Friday, March 31, 2017

Jedi Fuzzyhead

Simon is having a foam lightsaber "fight" with Oliver. It's caused some funny comments:
Simon, referencing the oft-criticized high ground comment in the Star Wars prequels (which he hasn't seen because I refuse to admit they're canon): "If having the high ground means you win, I'll always win. Sorry, Oliver, I have the high ground because I'm taller."
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Simon: " Every time Oliver ducks, his hair floofs. He's Jedi Fuzzyhead!"


Simon: "Sorry, did I just look offended?"
Me: "A little."
Simon: " I wasn't. Well, I did accidentally fart at that moment."

Each year, Simon gets to have whatever meal he wants on his birthday. We asked him if he had any ideas for this year and he said, "I want to eat at the school cafeteria that's at the hospital!"

Simon said Aquaman is the king of the sea. I jokingly told him that it would be cooler if he was also the king of the Nile, or Lake Michigan, not just the sea. Simon told me, "Well, Aquaman could colonize!"

Simon: " A mom's heartbeat is soothing to some people until they're in their late thirties."

Simon: "Hey,Mom. Do you want to put so much makeup on your eyes that it looks like you've spilled paint on them?"
Me: "Why?"
Simon: " I don't know, but that magazine is advertising that much makeup."

Simon was musing at the zoo: "I wonder if lions ever bite their tongues."

Jeff's company was just bought out by a Mexican train company. The boss didn't tell anyone until after everyone saw it on the news. Jeff was explaining the merger to me and I said, "It's weird that they didn't tell you guys. It's like--"
Simon yelled from the backseat, "SURPRISE! We're Mexican!"

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