How a Man Sleeps

Simon: "I want to sleep with my shirt off, like a man does."

Simon: "Do you want me to tell you what "expenses" is?"
Me: "Uh...okay."
Simon: "It's little things that you waste your money on."

Simon: "Mom, guess what? I'm a follower of the Lord!"

Simon: "Me and Ryland have a secret handshake."
Me: "Really? What is it?"
Simon: "I don't remember. It is secret, though."

Simon: "How can Luke and Leia be twins? They don't even have the same haircut!"

Silly Shakespeare

Simon: "I don't like Sesame Street. It's like a huge rash that won't go away!"

Simon has built a Lego Transformer that transforms into a shampoo bottle. I have no idea why.

Simon: "Mom, can I watch "Much Ado About Nothing"?"
Me: "You wouldn't like it, buddy."
Simon: "Why not?"
Me: "Because it's Shakespeare, so it's a little hard to understand."
Simon: "Oh....'cause he can't talk right. That's why it's "ado". He spelled it wrong. It's supposed to be "to do". Silly Shakespeare."

Movie Classics

Simon: "I just have to brush my teeth and get dressed. I have it so easy."

Simon was given a giant Lego set unexpectedly. We asked what he wants to say to the person who gave it to him, and he said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you, like, a million times! And I love you for this!".

Simon has told me that his Lego creation are "all in the minor details."Me: "Guess what?"
Simon: "What?"
Me: "I love you."
Simon: "Well said, Mom. Well said."
Simon: I am skinny everything! It comes from sitting in very small spaces!

Simon:"Do you want to see a car crash? Because I know all about car crashes! Really, they are movie classics!"
Simon (standing atop a friend's playroom climber):" I WANT TO LIVE HERE!!"

Friend's Mom: "What about your mom and dad??"

Simon: "Oh, well.....they aren't here to hear it and they did not mention it anyways....."

Simon has started saying, "OOOP, There it is!"

Simon very rarely mispronounces words. Here are his current mispronunciations:
"Humil-lil-ated" instead of "humiliated".
"Inno- kent" instead of "innocent"

Simon has started singing "TNT" by AC/DC. It's very very funny.

Simon really doesn't like the heat. As we walked through the grocery store door, Simon leaned against the pile of baskets and said dramatically, "I can't go any further. Go on without me!"

Sideburns

Me: "What is the capital of Brazil?"
Simon: "Brasília."
Me: "What about Japan?"
Simon: "Tokyo."
Me: "Egypt?"
Simon: "Cairo."
Me: "China?"
Simon: "Chinatown?"
Uh...
Simon: "Can I bring a notebook and a pencil tomorrow?" (to VBS)
Me: "Why?"
Simon: "I made a new friend, but I didn't catch his name. I need his autograph so I can know it."

Simon has been making Star Wars characters out of Legos. He had the hardest time with "Princess Lego" because he said that her "sideburns aren't poofy enough". Hahaha!


Simon slept over at a friend's house for the first time:

Ryland: you've never had root beer?!?
Simon: WE DO NOT DRINK BEER!!!
Natalie: it isn't beer, simon
S: aw, what is it, a meat or somethin'?
(Kids all laugh)
N- a soda
Simon: well, I don't like fizz either!


Simon was so overexcited that he was a disaster the next day. I took him home and he started sobbing, "I miss my friend!", even though he's been seeing him every day. There was also this gem:
Simon: "I'm saaaddd!"
Me: "I know, buddy."
Simon: "What are you going to do about it?'
Me: "I'm going to give you a hug when we get out of the car."
Simon: "Are we stopping at Toys R Us?"
Me: "No.Why would we do that?"
Simon (still sobbing): "To cheer me up!"

Mommy's Awesome Homeschool

Simon: "We should name our school "Mommy's Awesome Homeschool". Too much?"

Simon: "If I chew on a bone, all my teeth will fall out and I'll get, like, a million toothbrushes." We're going to let him pick any toothbrush he wants when he loses his first tooth.

Simon: "Am I stressing you out? I just love stressing you out. It's funny."

Simon: "How do you lick your chops?"

Quotes From Our Day At The Zoo

Simon, while at the zoo: "Are we taking the train?"
Jeff: "No. We're going to walk today."
Simon, nodding: "Ohh, we're kicking it old school."

This one is from Jeff, but it made me laugh so hard! Talking about my book addiction: "You should switch to heroin: it's cheaper."

Simon went on the zoo carousel today. He spent the whole ride discussing whether or not it was safe. He got off and said, "My teeth are still chattering!"
I asked, "Why?"
Simon answered, "I got on my own nerves."


Simon: "Why do the penguins always looks like that?"
Ryan: "They look like they're wearing tuxedos."
Simon: "They're staying classy."


Simon tried to climb the rope ladder at the zoo playground. He was trying to find the easiest way to get up, but ended up losing his shoe. He has about as much coordination as I do.

Stan Lee

Simon: "My voice is kind of better now. Half the time when I scream, I sound like a boy. The other times I sound like a girl, though. My voice will be all better when I'm seven."

Simon: "I learned a new word: obsessed. Basically, I've been obsessed with Legos for days."

Simon, on the Living Wax Museum we'll be visiting later: "Too bad it doesn't go back to the Cretaceous or something, so I could dress as a Velociraptor. Or old school Lego Batman. That's old."

Simon: "There's a commercial in this [comic] for a book  about how to be a comic book writer and it's written by STAN LEE! We need to call and tell Dad! He will freak out!"

Jeff: "Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate!"
Simon: "Who?"
Jeff: "Amazon."

Simon: "Batman's not a superhero. He's a millionaire."
Simon: "It's going to be a huge nassel explosion."
Me: "What?"
Simon: "Nassel! You know, like in space."
Me: "NASA?"
Simon: "No, nassel."
Me: "Wait, how is the word spelled?"
Simon: "N-A-S-A-L"
Me: Simon, that's pronounced "nay- sal". It has to do with the nose."
Simon: "Oh. Then there's going to be a nasal explosion."
Ew.