Curmudgeon

Simon: "I didn't really like the movie Coco."|
Me: "Really? Why not?"
Simon: "The ending is really emotional. I don't like movies that make me feel emotions!"

Simon: "What's the name of that old, big green playdough thing? Gumbo?"Simon: "Oliver is so grumpy, he doesn't just need sleep, he should PURSUE it."Simon: "The graphics on your phone are amazing!"
Me: "You know what? The graphics in real life are amazing."
Simon laughed so hard that he choked on his drink. I think I've found my target audience: kids think I'm hilarious.

Simon has started calling Ollie "Curmudgeon". I can't get mad because Jeff and I sometimes call him "Swamp Butt". Simon said, "I called Oliver "Teeny Bopper" like, five times in a row because I was cross with him."
He's 9 going on 60. And, apparently, he's British.


Simon: "My nose just started running for no reason. It was a spontaneous combustion!" 
Ew.