Castor Oil

Simon: "I'm not afraid of little kids anymore. Some of them are actually pretty cute."

Simon: "How come there aren't any presents under the tree?" (He knows he got some from Grandma).
Me: "Because we don't want the cats to eat them. They'll be under the tree on Christmas morning."
Simon: "We can just give the cats castor oil to get the presents back."
Me: "Ew! They'll be all pukey!"
Simon: "I don't care."

Simon: "Did you just hiccup?"
Me: "Yes."
Simon: "I'm very perceptive."

Simon: "People can give me five cents, and I'll give them a compliment, and when I have enough money I can buy something to give to someone."

Simon: "Can we send some of Tim's sal-via to a scientist so we can figure out what kind of breed he is?"