Ahem!

Simon on sunsets: "I like sunsets because they're romantic. Like when you're on a playdate with someone and you fall in love..."

Simon, holding up a donut: "Would you like a croissant? "
He dragged that last word out forever.

Simon: "It's a Crump family first. A new world record: a memory breakup! It's like when you're dating somebody and you break up, but with memories."

Simon: "You're quite funny."
Me: "I think you're quite funny."
Simon: "Thanks! I'm going to resume making my Lego star fighter now."
Having his first sleepover:
Me: "Simon,go get dressed for bed."
A couple minutes later...
Simon: "Ryland, come and see the scenario!"
Me: "Simon, are you naked? Because Ryland doesn't need to see that scenario."

Simon has started saying, "Ahem" when he is about to read out loud. It cracks me up!