Woosh!

Simon: "Mom, can I have some paper? I'm going to write a comic about Lego Ninjago #3 and so forth, etc."

Simon: "My hair is going woosh! Just like a peacock! Just like one!"

Simon: "Can I not do school right now, 'cause I'm too excited about writing my comic?"
Should I tell him that he's busy practicing handwriting (school!) right now? Nah.

Simon: "The best part of Halloween is trick-or-treating and my glow sword that is REALLY AWESOME!"

Simon: "I prayed to God about Gumpa in my head. I was trying to be subtle about it."

Martial Art

When Simon took his bath yesterday, he leaned back and said, "Ah! This is the life! It only gets better from here!"

I've been trying to get Simon to stop running around the house naked. He loves to yell, "I'm nude!" at the top of his lungs. I told him there's a reason it's called privates- because they're supposed to be private. He gave me a big, cheesy grin, and said, "Otherwise, you have to call it publics." Oh boy.

We too Simon to the Spooktacular at the zoo. There's a section with pirates. One of the pirates said, "Avast! I'll take your candy treasure!" (or something like that). Simon held his candy bag out and said, "You can have some". The pirate looked very taken aback. I guess he wasn't expecting someone to say that.

When Simon was taking his test, the lady testing him was doing a bunch of "what doesn't fit" questions. She said, "Which doesn't fit? "hat", "boots", "fish", or "dress"?"
Simon said "dress" and when she looked at him weird, he said, "Because you can't wear a dress when you go fishing." Ha ha!

Simon: "Sleep is a martial art."
I guess I have a black belt in a martial art, after all.

Guinea Pig

Simon: "Hey, would you like to make a propeller suit that is a few feet away from my body so I don't get hurt and it makes me fly and it looks like the only way I'm flying is because of my mind? It somehow has a propeller on the outside of it and it's automatically controlled by wires that are attached to it, and whenever the wires are working, you fly to your target."

Simon came running in before he was supposed to be up this morning. He yelled, "I can't believe it! I overslept!" He most definitely did not oversleep.

Simon tried to pull me out of bed. When he wasn't able to, he said, "I need a forklift." Ouch.

Simon called me a chinchilla. Jeff told him that I don't like that nickname and to come up with something else, so Simon called me a guinea pig. I just can't win, can I?
Simon is convinced that the Eiffel Tower is in Green Cove, despite me telling him he just saw a church steeple.

Simon: "Can I have all kinds of cheese, except for stinky cheese?"

Simon: "I want an apple because it's just the right temperature and it's stunning."

Simon: "My favorite word is "busted" because it sounds daring!"

Super Crazy

Simon: "Why is Dad so smart? I think it's because he asked God for wisdom and-boom- he got it."

Simon was dressing up in his superhero costumes. He said, "I'm disguising myself as someone who doesn't have allergies."

Simon: "I want an apple because it's just the right temperature and it's stunning."

Simon: "I just made up a book and it's called Super Crazy. It's about this child who wants to be a superhero. He tries to run really fast like the Flash, but he fails, and he tries to save the city, but sometimes he fails. Sometimes he doesn't,though."
Me: "What does your character look like?"
Simon: "Me. Because it is me! That's why it's super crazy!"

Simon: "My favorite word is "busted" because it sounds daring!"

Simon used pieces from some of his Lego guys to build a Lego Green Lantern. He explained to me that, "My Green Lantern doesn't have a logo because he's old school Green Lantern. You know, from back in the day."

Simon: "How do cats clean themselves without gagging?"

Leprosy

Simon has some bug bites on his hand. He showed me and asked, "Am I getting leprosy?"
Simon: "Do you have girl power?"
Me: "What do you think?"
Simon: "Well, you are pretty awesome, so I think you have girl power. I can't believe it!"

Simon just kissed my wedding ring. I asked him why and he said, "I don't know. It's kind of like you're a queen,or something, since you're the boss of me. You're my queen forever! At least, until you die."

Simon is working on a puzzle of the U.S. He said, "Texas? That's where Aunt Amber ,and Uncle Mike ,and Aunt Ashlea ,and Cousin Nathean are! We should go there! It's only one state away, after all."
I said, "There's a lot more than one state between us,buddy."
Simon answered, "Not right now. I didn't put those pieces in yet."

Simon: "When I grow up, if you're still alive, we can all watch grown up movies together."
How old does he think I am?!?

1st Day of Kindergarten

1st Day of Kindergarten:

Experience

Simon: "What do you think?"
Me: "That...you're awesome-sauce."
Simon: "I wasn't expecting that, but okay."

Simon: "Can I do a science experience?"
I reminded him of the difference between "experience" and "experiment", then he said, "Oh. Right, right. Can I experience a science experiment?"

Simon: "I'm going to build a mop that's wetter and faster and it's going to mop whenever you want it to."
Me: "Wow! How are you going to do that?"
Simon (shrugging): "Just make it."

I gave Simon his vitamin gummy and he said, "Did you know this has nutritions in it?"