Leprosy

Simon has some bug bites on his hand. He showed me and asked, "Am I getting leprosy?"
Simon: "Do you have girl power?"
Me: "What do you think?"
Simon: "Well, you are pretty awesome, so I think you have girl power. I can't believe it!"

Simon just kissed my wedding ring. I asked him why and he said, "I don't know. It's kind of like you're a queen,or something, since you're the boss of me. You're my queen forever! At least, until you die."

Simon is working on a puzzle of the U.S. He said, "Texas? That's where Aunt Amber ,and Uncle Mike ,and Aunt Ashlea ,and Cousin Nathean are! We should go there! It's only one state away, after all."
I said, "There's a lot more than one state between us,buddy."
Simon answered, "Not right now. I didn't put those pieces in yet."

Simon: "When I grow up, if you're still alive, we can all watch grown up movies together."
How old does he think I am?!?

1st Day of Kindergarten

1st Day of Kindergarten:

Experience

Simon: "What do you think?"
Me: "That...you're awesome-sauce."
Simon: "I wasn't expecting that, but okay."

Simon: "Can I do a science experience?"
I reminded him of the difference between "experience" and "experiment", then he said, "Oh. Right, right. Can I experience a science experiment?"

Simon: "I'm going to build a mop that's wetter and faster and it's going to mop whenever you want it to."
Me: "Wow! How are you going to do that?"
Simon (shrugging): "Just make it."

I gave Simon his vitamin gummy and he said, "Did you know this has nutritions in it?"

Color Blind

Simon: "In Brazil, they speak pork-you-deese."
Simon woke me up entirely too early this morning. He asked if it was time to get up yet and I mumbled sleepily, "I don't know. Is the light green?" (Simon's alarm clock is a traffic light and he's only allowed to get up when it's green). Simon said no, but then added hopefully, "But I could be color blind!".
Simon: "When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut. But can you control that centrifuge thingy? That way I don't spin too fast."

Some tidbits I heard while Simon was playing with his Legos:
"Wait. We have to pause our battle. I'm out of gas."
"Meanwhile, years later, "Finally! My training us complete!""
"Mom, I lost my Lego robot. I'm ashamed."

Chattering

Simon: "Can you sew me socks?"
Me: "I don't know how to do that, buddy."
Simon: "First you measure my foot, then you sew the sock as big as my foot is. Like, nine feet,or something. Do you know how to measure?"
Me: "I know how to measure. I don't know if that would work, though."
Simon: "Well, you can just ask Miss Gracie."

Simon saw an add for Chick-Fil-A. He looked amazed and said, "Wow! That cow can write the alphabet?"

Simon is smacking himself in the face. I told him to stop hitting himself and he said, "I'm not. I'm fixing my hair." He grooms himself very violently.

I went to get Simon up this morning and he was lying there with his tongue hanging out. It turns out, he was playing dead like a grass snake does so that animals won't eat it.


Simon finished praying this morning. Then he looked at Jeff (who hadn't known he was praying) and asked, "Did you hear my chattering?"

Simon: "I thought only kids had birthdays!"

After reading about a "whopper" of a snake, Simon said, "A whopper is a sandwich, not a snake."

A Thief and a Glutton

Simon was spoiled by Uncle Ryan

Ryan just came out for a visit. We spent the weekend eating out at Moon River Pizza, wandering through Chamblin Bookmine, getting tasty coffee from Spring Park Coffee, and taking Ryan to see Despicable Me 2. We all had a great time!

Grandma: "Simon, you're a turkey."
Simon: "Well, you're a thief and a glutton."

Simon: "One day I'm going to be an archaeotologist."
Jeff: "You mean archaeologist?"
Simon: "Whatever. Whatever it's called, I'm going to be it."
Simon: "Oh no! Pain in the neck has struck me again!"

Simon: "Can we go on a walkabout until Uncle Ryan gets here?"
Me: "He's not coming until Dad gets off work. That'd be a really looonnng walkabout."
Simon: "That's okay, 'cause it's extracise. You said you need it, after all."

Simon: "Let's take a stroll to the store. Shall we?"

The Dark and Hot Sinister

Simon went to a friends' birthday party, where he- gasp!- went down and inflatable water slide! He loved it! Huzzah for trying new things!

Simon asked if his name is written in the Lambs' Book of Life. My prayer is that it will be one day.

This morning Simon came bounding into my room, turned on the (very bright) light, and shouted, "Mom, guess what? You're science fiction!"
Simon is not allowed to leave his room and wake us up in the morning until the light on his traffic light clock turns green. This morning we knew he was about to come get us up because he started humming the Imperial March from Star Wars as he opened his bedroom door. I love starting the day with a laugh.


Simon drew a kite. He then wrote his name and phone number on it, "in case it gets in the neighbor's house".
Simon: "How do you say"spaghetti" in Japanese? I think it's "pastaroni"."


Simon says vanilla extract smells like chocolate.
Simon: "Are babies born bald?"
Me: "Sometimes. "
Simon: "Do they grow hair when they're ready to become human?"
Simon has the worst opinions about babies!
Simon: "My theme is: I'm the Dark and Hot Sinister because I brushed my hair in the dark with hot water."