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Me: "Did you play with your buddies at recess today?"
Simon: "No, I was just a one-man-show."

We were watching Brave. Simon's assessment of the main character: "She's quite the fighter."

Driving with Jeff to work this morning, I mentioned that the plate on the car in front of us said "Camelle". Simon looked up and said, "No, the back of the car says Lexus."

Simon (watching me try to skip through all the previews on a dvd): "What does "action not available" mean?" I can't believe he can read that!

On the way home from school, Simon started crying. I asked what was wrong and he said, "I miss you when I'm at school! My heart is black because it breaks!"

Fruit to the Loom!

Simon shouted excitedly from the other room, "My underwear says "Fruit to the loom"!"
Simon is a natural at the familial banter:
"Mom, Dad's giving me a tough time again! Will you handle it, please?"

Simon: "I have a loose tooth."
Me: "That's cool! Which one is it?"
Simon: "That one."
Me: "Which one? Can you wiggle it?"
Simon started moving his jaw back and forth. I guess I should have explained what I meant.

Simon: "I accidentally used my imagination."

Simon: "Can I watch How to Train Your Dragon?"
Me: "You just watched that yesterday. How about something else? Maybe the Goofy movie or Emperor's New Groove?"
Simon: "I can't. I'm too old for animated movies."

Simon came with us to the "big people church" this morning, but asked to leave early. The reason? "Dad sings weird".


Me: "How was school?"
Simon: "Oh, you know. It was just a day."

That's the rumor

Simon: "Anekah was at school today, so I made my move."
Me: "What was your move?"
Simon: "To say hi."

Simon: "Luke is in the Bible and in Star Wars!"
I had to explain that it wasn't the same Luke.

Simon: "Last night I had a dream that was kind of not pleasant."


During bath time:
Me: "Are you going to clean your arms?"
Simon: "That's the rumor."

Simon: " I can't take a nap today."
Me: "Really. Why not?"
Simon: "It's complicated. I'll explain later."

Simon: "I'm going to give you two hugs and two kisses. One is an "I love you" hug and kiss and the other is to say "I'm sorry for being naughty yesterday"."

Superbowl Antics

Simon: "Mom, why are you whispering?"
Me: "I'm not whispering, buddy. I'm losing my voice."
Simon: "You're going to be deaf!?!"
Me: "No. I'm just having a hard time talking because my throat is sore."
Simon: "You'll just have to use sign language then."

Simon: "Disciples can't be in cars. That's just silly."
Jeff: "Why is that silly?"
Simon: "There are no cars in the Bible!"
Jeff: "Buddy, the mode of transportation you use doesn't decide if you're a disciple or not. It's if you choose to follow God."
Simon: "But there were no cars!!! They just walked everywhere."
The conversation continued in this vein for about five more minutes.


Simon watched some of the Superbowl last night. He ended up dressing in his knight helmet and running around with a big blue ball, "hiking the ball".


Simon: "I didn't like Beyonce's booty-shaking move."

Me neither.

Simon: "I love you so much there are little hearts around my head."

Simon informed us that if he ever gets a little brother (he doesn't want one) he wants us to name him Flash Funworks Crump.

Speechies!

We had dinner with some friends last night. Simon made quite an impression, walking into their sliding glass door (while dressed as Batman, of course). We all had a great night.

Simon: "Eli can have a sleepover!"
Jeff: "That'd be fun."
Simon: "You don't even have to be there!"
Jeff: "Well, we'd be there to take care of you guys and help get snacks."
Simon: "I can get our snacks by myself. I have a recipe!"

We took Simon to the zoo today:

Simon: "I want to go get naked and go in the water park."
Jeff: "The water park isn't open; it's too cold."
Me: "You'd have to wear swimming shorts, though. You can't be naked."
Simon: "Because then people would yell: "Why is that kid NAKED!?!"."

Simon (in his best "informative voice"): "There are over two hundred speechies. Mom, what's a speechies?"
He meant "species".

Lately Simon has been telling me to pick up kids from school so he can take them to our house to play. When I tell him that we need their parents' permission first (otherwise it's kind of a felony), he tells me to just ask his teacher.

Save the Day!

Simon made a schematic of the Lego ship he wanted to build

Simon made a schematic for the Lego ship he wanted to build. He drew it, then labeled it "Sonic Projection Ship." He never did get around to building it, though.

When Jeff was about to leave the room after tucking Simon in bed, Simon said, "You can stay in here. You can tell me all you know."

Simon came running out of his room as soon as we put him to bed last night. He struck his "superhero pose" and shouted, "Did someone say "Save the day!"?"

Simon has a Qui Gon Jinn Lego. Its Lego hair fell off and Simon said, "Uh oh. Qui Gon can't fight without his hair."

Simon: "I'm passion about my Legos."
Me: "I think you mean "passionate"."
Simon: "Yeah, that too."

Smart Idea

Simon, referring to a bag of gummy worms: "These are just begging to be eaten!"

Simon suggested that we go to Legoland. He did a thumbs up saying, "It's a good idea.", then he pointed at himself and added, "Smart idea."

For a while now, Simon has been telling me that he loves me so much there are hearts around his head.

Simon decided to practice writing. He got a pen and paper, drew his own guiding lines (complete with dotted line in the middle), then he was very quiet. A few minutes later, he came running in with his paper. He said, "Guess who wrote his own name? I did!" It was twice as funny because he's been able to do that for a while.