Gutsy Move

We went over to my mom's house last night. Simon was told to go take a bathroom break. He bellowed (there's no other word for it) from the bathroom, "Nothing!"

Simon is watching Cars for the upteenth time. He got to the part where Lightning McQueen revs his horn and all the tractor cows fall over. Simon looked at me and said, "That wasn't nice. Now they're all dead." I assured Simon that no one died and he looked at me and said, "They rolled over and can't get up. They're dead."

Simon had me help him spell "No teasing allowed". He wrote it on a piece of paper and taped it to the wall. I told him he was silly, and he pointed at the paper and said, "Read it, Mom. No. Teasing. Allowed."

Simon: "Mom, I really love you, but I love God more. Sorry."
Don't be sorry, Simon!!!

Me: "How'd you sleep last night? Did you have any good dreams?"
Simon: "How should I know? I forget these things."

Simon was given a new game last night. It's basically a kid version of Jenga and it is so much fun! Simon kept saying, "Gutsy move!", after every single one of his turns.

Christmas Eve

Simon: "I have something to say about Christmas Eve: snowman. That's all."

Simon: "I'm a nerd, like Dad and I'm geeking out about Ninja Turtles!"

Simon was playing with his Lego guys. He held one up and said, "Roger, roger", like he was talking into a walkie-talkie then he looked at me and said, "This guy's name is Roger."

Simon: "They sing really loud at church! They're louder than me!"

Simon is walking around the house, trying to sing the "Snow" song from White Christmas. Unfortunately, the only part he knows is, "Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow!" It's gotten rather old.

Simon: "I'm generous. You can have all  my old toys when I get presents. Except the ones I play with."

Something in Common

Simon asked suspiciously, "Is today a school day?"
When Jeff said yes, Simon said, "I knew it!"

Simon: "I can't go to school today."
Jeff: "Why not?"
Simon: "It's too much fun. I can't handle it."

Simon: "Mom, you're a slow poke. I'm a fast poke!"

Simon: "Am I adorable?"
Me: "Sometimes you're very adorable."
Simon: "Thanks, that's good to know."

Simon: "Mom, did you have a dog?"
Me: "No, I've never had a dog of my own."
Simon: "That's something we have in common."

Simon: "S'Barro's! Indescribably good!"

Simon gave me a kiss and said, "Mom, God gave me you because He loves me so much!"
That made my day!

Me: "Simon, do you want to give your teacher a Christmas present?"
Simon: "Yes! I want to give her those things I wear on my arms so I don't sink when I go swimming."
Me: "Floaties?"
Simon: "Yeah. Except she probably can swim, so...I'll get her shoes instead."
Me: "That's sweet of you, but I was thinking maybe we could make her cookies, or something."
Simon (sighing): " Yeah, I guess so."

VCR=Old

Simon keeps unzipping his Superman pj's (they have feet attached) and ripping the top half partially off his body while sticking his chest out. Why? Because he's "turning into Clark Kent the way Clark Kent changes into Superman."

I asked Simon if he wanted some medicine to help with his cough. He shrugged and said, "Sure, why not? It could work."
Simon: "I wish I had a stingray."
Jeff: "Well, you can't really have a stingray for a pet."
Simon: "Yeah, 'cause all it'll do is sting you. I can't have a fish, because fish are boring!"
Me: "What pet would you want?"
Simon: "A rocket ship!"


Simon: "I'm a lean, mean, dancing machine!"

Simon:"Mom, I'm dead. I'm honestly dead."
Me: "Really? Are you sure about that?"
Simon (lifting his head off my shoulder to look me right in the eye): "I honestly am."


Simon: "The sounds squirrels and chipmunks make are hilarious!"


Simon wanted to show me his color-by-number. He held it up and said, "It's gonna blow your socks off!"


Simon: "What's a VCR?"
Me: "It's how people used to watch videos before DVD players. I think Grandma has one."
Simon: "But she's not old!"

Simon: "Babies love chocolate."
Me: "Really?"
Simon: "Yup. I love chocolate too, but I'm not a baby. I guess babies are smart after all."
He has a low opinion of anything that can't talk.

Grandma: "I'm excited to see you for Thanksgiving, Simon. We'll have turkey."
Simon: "And I'll eat the candy corn!"
Me: "I don't think there'll be candy corn."
Simon (looking disappointed): "But I like candy corn."

Kookamunga!

Simon said, "Mom, this is what Jesus always does!" Then, he made the sign language sign for love.

We stopped at McDonalds before heading to Trunk-or-Treat. It spawned some very interesting observations:

Simon (while eating chicken nuggets): "Chicken makes you strong! But not this stuff!"

There was a man sitting by himself at a table, facing some Halloween decorations. He was talking into his cell phone, but Simon was convinced he was talking to the scarecrow.

A teen put on a V for Vendetta mask. Simon said, "Look, it's Kookamunga!"
I have no idea.

I told Simon that tomorrow is picture day at  his school. He said, "We take pictures on Christmas! Tomorrow is Christmas!"
I answered, "No, tomorrow isn't Christmas, it's just picture day."
Simon: "But you need to put up the tree, because I've been waiting and waiting! You want a good picture, right?"

Today, while playing soccer, Simon told me they were playing "dog park". Somehow, I doubt it.

Jeff: "Don't act up, please."
Simon: "I won't. I'll act down."

Mulch

Simon gave me a big hug and said, "This is how you turn an enemy into a friend."

Jeff was poking me. Simon shouted, "Stop picking on my mother!"
Ha ha, he took my side!

Simon: "Today at school, a lot of kids were running. They accidentally knocked me over."
Jeff: "Are you okay?"
Simon: "Yeah. I just fell in the mulch."

Simon: "Do I have hair on my chest yet?"

Simon was humming to himself in the car this morning. All of a sudden he got really upset.
Simon: "Jesus doesn't love me!"
Me: "Of course He does!"
Simon: "But the song says, "red or yellow, black or white" and my shirt is orange!"
I had to explain to him that the song was talking about skin color. It took a minute to get him to calm down; he was very sure that Jesus had a clothing preference.

Jeff got cut off twice yesterday. After the second time, Jeff asked, "Am I invisible?"
Without missing a beat, Simon answered, "Yes. Yes, you are."

Like a Boss

On our way to the car today (after picking Simon up from school), Simon said, "Look at me, walking like a boss!"

Simon: "I'm in the background. You're in the frontground."

Simon kicked a really good pass at soccer practice today. I told him what a good job he did and he said, "I did a killer kick! It almost killed me!"

Simon picked out some pants at the store the other day. He's very proud of them and wore them for the first time today. I said, "I like your pants, Simon."
He smiled and said, "Thanks! They're my best feature!"


Simon: "I want to watch Spiderman!"
Jeff: "You're not old enough, buddy. But when you're older, you can watch Spiderman, and Iron Man, and Avengers. You'll have a superhero time!"
Simon: "And you'll  have a naptime!"