Stress Eater

Simon: "Oli- Dad, I almost called you Oliver!"
Jeff, pretending to be offended: "Hey, I made Oliver!"
Simon, pointing to his stomach: "Actually, Mom did."
Jeff: "I helped! Oliver is part Mom and part me."
Simon: "Just like me! So, technically , I helped too."

Simon : "Mom, I saw a book in your room that would be great since we're learning about Germany! "
Me: "What book? "
Simon : "Irish Fairy and Folk Tales."

Jeff had been singing "The Wheels On The Bus" for quite a while, in an attempt to keep Oliver calm. After fifteen or so verses, he ran out of things on the bus, so he asked Simon to sing a verse. Simon promptly sang, "The Stan Lee on the bus says "Excelsior" all through the town"." He's definitely a nerd.

Simon, sounding exasperated : "It's hard to be the man of the hour if you have to go to bed at eight o'clock at night. "

Simon: "I want to squoosh Oliver's baby chub so badly!"

Simon just said, "To quote myself ". Ha ha ha!

Simon is Mr. Questions today. These are just a few: "Who was the first scientist", "Why do saltines have little holes in them?", "Will Oliver forget if I'm a bad example since he's so little? ", "Who invented the maze?", and my personal favorite, "Can Oliver fart so hard that he'll blow a hole in his pants? ".

Simon, looking at a book I have, asked, "Did you get this in 2014?"
When I answered that I possibly got it then ( I am not sure exactly since books tend to follow me home. At least, that's my excuse ), he excitedly said, "It's two years old! It's a relic!"

Simon : "Oliver is a stress eater. It's not healthy. "

Simon : "I can't believe you're playing peek-a-boo with Oliver! "
Me: "Why not? "
Simon : "Because it's so undignified! "

Simon : "I'm going to build a time machine, and go back in time to find the person that invented cleaning and let them have it."

Simon : "If I ever get a pet fish, the name "Sushi" comes to mind. "

Me: "Simon, stop hanging out on my bed in your underwear. You look like you're trying to be a Calvin Klein model."
Simon : "Is that a person who takes too many before and after selfies?"

Today Simon asked if there is a disease that makes your eyelashes grow too long. When I told him no, he paused, then said, "Good to know. "

Jango Bells

Simon,singing to the tune of "Jingle Bells": "Jango Bells, Jango Bells,Jango all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a Mandalorian sleigh!"

Simon went to a cousins gift exchange party. They had a real Christmas tree up, instead of an artificial one. Simon exclaimed, "Their tree is all-natural!"

Simon: "I don't like Frosty the Snowman! I'm happy he melted."

A Crump Christmas 2015

Food Critic

Simon, talking about decorating for Christmas (after Thanksgiving is over) : "Is our tree fake or organic? "

A while ago, Simon learned what diabetes is. Since then, he's been concerned that he has it. He's also thought he had appendicitis. The other, day Simon asked what food poisoning is. I was vague (understandably, considering his recent run of health related fears). After I told him, this conversation ensued:
Simon : "Can you get food poisoning from fruit candies? " , which is what he calls fruit snacks. He was eating them at the time.
Me: No, you don't have food poisoning. You're a little hypochondriac. "
Simon : "What's that? "
Me: "Someone who thinks they have whatever anyone else has, whether they do or not. " Not the most accurate definition, I know.
Simon : "Oh. Is it contagious? "

Simon : "Oliver likes to eat so much I bet he's going to be a food critic when he grows up."

Little Crumb

Simon told me,  "I'm trying to eat healthy. You know, not as much sugar because of that diabetes thing. "


Simon, after noticing Oliver looking at the light: "You know, light can be pretty mesmerizing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Unearthly

Centershots Archery

                                              Jay from Lego Ninjago! Happy Halloween!

Simon said excitedly, "I just gave Oliver his pacifier and he's sucking vigorously! "

Simon: "Can you come check my room? I heard a noise even though my light is on. "
Me : "It was probably a nut or something falling on the roof."
Simon: "The noise was way too unearthly for that. "

Simon is a big brother!

Simon watched Space Jam yesterday which inspired him to practice his basketball moves by chucking a ball at an imaginary hoop. This hoop looked an awful lot like my face.

Last night, Simon said to  Jeff incredulously, " You're making tea THIS late? "
Jeff had to explain that his tea doesn't have caffeine.

Simon: "When am I getting an x-ray?"
Me: "If we are ever concerned that you've broken a bone, you'd get one then. "
Simon: "That shot really hurt. I think the needle might have poked my bone. I think I need an x-ray. "