Food Critic

Simon, talking about decorating for Christmas (after Thanksgiving is over) : "Is our tree fake or organic? "

A while ago, Simon learned what diabetes is. Since then, he's been concerned that he has it. He's also thought he had appendicitis. The other, day Simon asked what food poisoning is. I was vague (understandably, considering his recent run of health related fears). After I told him, this conversation ensued:
Simon : "Can you get food poisoning from fruit candies? " , which is what he calls fruit snacks. He was eating them at the time.
Me: No, you don't have food poisoning. You're a little hypochondriac. "
Simon : "What's that? "
Me: "Someone who thinks they have whatever anyone else has, whether they do or not. " Not the most accurate definition, I know.
Simon : "Oh. Is it contagious? "

Simon : "Oliver likes to eat so much I bet he's going to be a food critic when he grows up."

Little Crumb

Simon told me,  "I'm trying to eat healthy. You know, not as much sugar because of that diabetes thing. "


Simon, after noticing Oliver looking at the light: "You know, light can be pretty mesmerizing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Simon: "Do you know how Ryland and I joke with each other? I tell a joke and Ryland doesn't respond. Ryland tells a joke and I don't respond. We don't understand each others' jokes, so we don't laugh. That's our thing. "

Unearthly

Centershots Archery

                                              Jay from Lego Ninjago! Happy Halloween!

Simon said excitedly, "I just gave Oliver his pacifier and he's sucking vigorously! "

Simon: "Can you come check my room? I heard a noise even though my light is on. "
Me : "It was probably a nut or something falling on the roof."
Simon: "The noise was way too unearthly for that. "

Simon is a big brother!

Simon watched Space Jam yesterday which inspired him to practice his basketball moves by chucking a ball at an imaginary hoop. This hoop looked an awful lot like my face.

Last night, Simon said to  Jeff incredulously, " You're making tea THIS late? "
Jeff had to explain that his tea doesn't have caffeine.

Simon: "When am I getting an x-ray?"
Me: "If we are ever concerned that you've broken a bone, you'd get one then. "
Simon: "That shot really hurt. I think the needle might have poked my bone. I think I need an x-ray. "

Contracticals

Simon made me a bracelet out of the treads from a Lego tire.

Simon: "Can today be Crazy Hair Day? I mean, we are learning about Einstein. "
Of all his excuses to not brush his hair, this is one of the more creative ones.

Simon was rubbing my stomach yesterday, and talking to Oliver. All of a sudden, he stopped and kind of gently poked my stomach. He explained that he couldn't rub my stomach too much or it might catch on fire. Silly boy!

Simon: "I've got the hiccups, you're pregnant. .. we're all broken. "

Simon: "I want to homeschool through college. Is that allowed? I just like homeschool better. It's fun. Plus, cafeteria food is terrible. It tastes like airline food."
Me: "You've never eaten airline food! "
Simon: "I know, but I heard it's terrible. "

Simon: "Was I destined to be a thinker? "

Simon: "My new thing is saying "Whatev" instead of "whatever"."
Me: "Where did you get that? "
Simon: "Nowhere. I'm just lazy. It's my thing. "
Well, that's going to drive me nuts.

Simon: "Is Oliver giving you more contracticals?"

Yesterday Jeff was playing Legos with Simon. Simon asked if Jeff liked his creation. When Jeff said yes, Simon said, "Good! Your approval is what I was going for. "

Burning Daylight

Simon: "I think one kid is more than enough!"
Me (thinking he's having a hard time with being a sibling): "You're going to love your brother."
Simon: "Not that. I mean, one kid is enough because kids are a handful. I'm a handful. I mean, I want another burger..."

Simon: "I'm full. "
Me, looking up and seeing that he's eaten two bites: "No. You need to eat more than that. "
Simon: "But I ate a lot yesterday! "

Simon: "Come on, Mom! We're burning daylight here! "

Simon: "I think selling indulgences was the first scam."

The Baby Whisperer

Simon is talking about a possible play date with a girl his age. It resulted in this conversation: "Wow, I better change my socks and brush my hair! I don't want her to think that I'm Mr. Dirty or something."
You'd think he'd do those things anyway, but apparently not.

Simon: "I want to go to a flea market and find a really cool Lego set. Or some mac and cheese. "

Simon: "I like to suck the juice out of my orange and swirl it in my mouth. Do you like to do that? "
Me: "I just like to bite the orange and eat it that way. "
Simon: "Ah, the simple, domestic method. "

Simon just called me Miss Jodie. I looked at him and said, "Uh, Simon, you can call me Mom."
He gave me an embarrassed smile and said, "Oops. I just got used to everyone calling you that. "

Yesterday I told Simon I was hot and sweaty. He looked at me in amazement and said, "I didn't know girls sweat! "

Simon talked to my stomach (well, the baby inside) and Little Nugget woke up and started kicking. Jeff told Simon that he can get Oliver to wake up and that he must like the sound of his voice. Simon asked, "So, I'm like the Baby Whisperer?"

Last night Simon was chattering away to a worker at his archery club. He said, "I like Boba Fett because of his rogue personality." He used air quotes around the word "rogue". Funny boy.

Simon hit his head very hard, so I was checking in to make sure he was still doing okay.
Me: "How are you doing? Do you have a headache or a stomachache? "
Simon: "No. Why? "
Me: "Just checking on you. "
Simon, happily: "I love it when you fuss over me! "

Simon helping Dad mow the lawn for the very first time. He loves it!

I told Simon to be careful because his food was hot. He arched a brow at me (I'm so jealous that he can do that! ) and said, "Ooh, the stakes are high. "

Simon: "I'll bet you a thousand. Then you say, "I'll see you and raise you a hot dog". Does that make sense? I don't know how to play poker."
This little monologue came out of nowhere.

Simon, looking at his toothbrush: "Huh. That's odd."
Me: "What? "
Simon: "All my toothbrushes are made in China, except this one. This one came from Bangladesh. "