Vigorous Kicking

Me: "Good kick! It went really far!"
Simon: "Thanks! It's because I kick vigorously."

Simon: "Wanna see me do a montage?"
He spun in a circle. Hmmm...I don't think he knows the definition of that word yet.

I misplaced my phone earlier. Simon, turning the tables on me, said, "You need to keep track of your stuff. It's not my job to remember where you put everything."
Simon: "That's life. But it's okay;you'll figure it all out sooner or later."
I was having a hard time transforming his robot toy.

A Letter to God

Simon wrote a letter to God. It says, "I love you, God. I will not sin to you and I will love you, God. Love, Simon". He also drew "scenes of Jesus' life": Jesus on the cross, Jesus in the tomb, The empty tomb, and Peter telling Jesus he is God. I love that Simon does these sorts of things!
Simon  grabbed me yesterday and tried to give me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Aside from scaring me half to death (who expects their kid to grab their face and start blowing?), I got a shot of gummy-bear smelling air right up my nose. We had a long talk about what's appropriate and what isn't, during which Simon explained that he wasn't being inappropriate, he was trying to save my life. Yikes!

Simon: "I made this picture to make you happy. There's Chinese writing on it. See?"
Me: "Wow! What does it say?"
Simon: "I don't know. I can't read Chinese."

Simon has been standing by the front door for the last five minutes. I just asked what he's doing and he said, "I was going to surprise Dad, but now I'm just going to be a gentleman and open the door."

Simon prayed, "Thank you for the possibility to go to the doctor because it's been so long..." I really don't want to be the one to tell him he's going to need shots.

Simon asked me to put red dye in the bathtub so he can swim in the Red Sea. He also wants bubbles because he thinks the water must have been bubbly when God parted the Red Sea. Ha ha!

Simon: ""Never say never". I just said "never" twice!"

Simon: "I'll scare you, okay?"
Me: "Uh..Okay?"
Simon: "Bah! Now you react. Well, scream."
Me: "Simon, I'm not scared because I knew it was coming. You can't tell me you're about to scare me."
Simon: " Oh. Sorry 'bout that. I'm going to try again. Bah! Well, react."

Awesome Sauce

Simon: "I'm a clone of Awesome Sauce."
Me: "Really? I thought you were Simon."
Simon: "I'm a clone of Simon, and he's awesome sauce. So I'm a clone of Awesome Sauce. Also, I'm a superhero."
Simon: "I want to give you a hug but it might jeopardize my mission."
He gave me a hug anyway. That's love.

Simon has been staring at me and pretending to sneeze. It's really disconcerting. I asked why he was doing that and he said, "See? People can sneeze with their eyes open! The Cat in the Hat show lied!"

Simon, smiling impishly: "I have a great sense of humor, but I assume you already knew that."


Simon: "You have a weird sense of humor, so you're fired!"
Me: "I'm fired!?!"
Simon: "I was just joking, but that was kind of not nice, so; I'm sorry."

Rid the Fat!

It's been a great few weeks. Simon and his Pre-K class just put together a Mother's Day Tea. It was so adorable! Prior to that, Simon had a birthday party at O2bkids. Here are a few pictures from those two events:


Simon: "Dad is your husband, but sometimes you call him Jeff. That's how you remember you're married to him."

Simon decided he didn't want to be like Dad when he grows up. The reason? He doesn't "want to grow a scratchety beard."
Once I told him he didn't have to, he decided he wants to be just like Dad once he grows up.

Simon to me: "I love you so much, I'm going to give you a turkey leg!"

There's a billboard down the street that cycles between three different ads. One of them is for a weight loss program. Every time Simon sees it, he just reads the website very excitedly: "RID THE FAT!"

It's been a great few weeks. Simon and his Pre-K class just put together a Mother's Day Tea. It was so adorable! Prior to that, Simon had a birthday party at O2bkids. Here are a few pictures from those two events:

In the Past

Simon: "Do you remember that I've built stuff with Legos in the past? I like to do that from time to time."
That is all he does.

Simon: "Mom, can you help me clean up? I'm messy and I can't possibly do it myself!"

Simon: "I had a guys' weekend. You couldn't come 'cause you're kind of a girl."

Simon: "My birthday is going to be all about Christ! Just like Easter and Christmas and, like, every minute."

Simon asked if he could have some Easter candy. We told him he could pick one thing. He ate the whole thing, then said, "I don't like it. Can I have something else?"
When we said no because he'd eaten the candy he said, "I just tried it. I tried it all!"

Action not available

Me: "Did you play with your buddies at recess today?"
Simon: "No, I was just a one-man-show."

We were watching Brave. Simon's assessment of the main character: "She's quite the fighter."

Driving with Jeff to work this morning, I mentioned that the plate on the car in front of us said "Camelle". Simon looked up and said, "No, the back of the car says Lexus."

Simon (watching me try to skip through all the previews on a dvd): "What does "action not available" mean?" I can't believe he can read that!

On the way home from school, Simon started crying. I asked what was wrong and he said, "I miss you when I'm at school! My heart is black because it breaks!"

Fruit to the Loom!

Simon shouted excitedly from the other room, "My underwear says "Fruit to the loom"!"
Simon is a natural at the familial banter:
"Mom, Dad's giving me a tough time again! Will you handle it, please?"

Simon: "I have a loose tooth."
Me: "That's cool! Which one is it?"
Simon: "That one."
Me: "Which one? Can you wiggle it?"
Simon started moving his jaw back and forth. I guess I should have explained what I meant.

Simon: "I accidentally used my imagination."

Simon: "Can I watch How to Train Your Dragon?"
Me: "You just watched that yesterday. How about something else? Maybe the Goofy movie or Emperor's New Groove?"
Simon: "I can't. I'm too old for animated movies."

Simon came with us to the "big people church" this morning, but asked to leave early. The reason? "Dad sings weird".


Me: "How was school?"
Simon: "Oh, you know. It was just a day."