Awesome Sauce

Simon: "I'm a clone of Awesome Sauce."
Me: "Really? I thought you were Simon."
Simon: "I'm a clone of Simon, and he's awesome sauce. So I'm a clone of Awesome Sauce. Also, I'm a superhero."
Simon: "I want to give you a hug but it might jeopardize my mission."
He gave me a hug anyway. That's love.

Simon has been staring at me and pretending to sneeze. It's really disconcerting. I asked why he was doing that and he said, "See? People can sneeze with their eyes open! The Cat in the Hat show lied!"

Simon, smiling impishly: "I have a great sense of humor, but I assume you already knew that."


Simon: "You have a weird sense of humor, so you're fired!"
Me: "I'm fired!?!"
Simon: "I was just joking, but that was kind of not nice, so; I'm sorry."