Superbowl Antics

Simon: "Mom, why are you whispering?"
Me: "I'm not whispering, buddy. I'm losing my voice."
Simon: "You're going to be deaf!?!"
Me: "No. I'm just having a hard time talking because my throat is sore."
Simon: "You'll just have to use sign language then."

Simon: "Disciples can't be in cars. That's just silly."
Jeff: "Why is that silly?"
Simon: "There are no cars in the Bible!"
Jeff: "Buddy, the mode of transportation you use doesn't decide if you're a disciple or not. It's if you choose to follow God."
Simon: "But there were no cars!!! They just walked everywhere."
The conversation continued in this vein for about five more minutes.


Simon watched some of the Superbowl last night. He ended up dressing in his knight helmet and running around with a big blue ball, "hiking the ball".


Simon: "I didn't like Beyonce's booty-shaking move."

Me neither.

Simon: "I love you so much there are little hearts around my head."

Simon informed us that if he ever gets a little brother (he doesn't want one) he wants us to name him Flash Funworks Crump.

Speechies!

We had dinner with some friends last night. Simon made quite an impression, walking into their sliding glass door (while dressed as Batman, of course). We all had a great night.

Simon: "Eli can have a sleepover!"
Jeff: "That'd be fun."
Simon: "You don't even have to be there!"
Jeff: "Well, we'd be there to take care of you guys and help get snacks."
Simon: "I can get our snacks by myself. I have a recipe!"

We took Simon to the zoo today:

Simon: "I want to go get naked and go in the water park."
Jeff: "The water park isn't open; it's too cold."
Me: "You'd have to wear swimming shorts, though. You can't be naked."
Simon: "Because then people would yell: "Why is that kid NAKED!?!"."

Simon (in his best "informative voice"): "There are over two hundred speechies. Mom, what's a speechies?"
He meant "species".

Lately Simon has been telling me to pick up kids from school so he can take them to our house to play. When I tell him that we need their parents' permission first (otherwise it's kind of a felony), he tells me to just ask his teacher.

Save the Day!

Simon made a schematic of the Lego ship he wanted to build

Simon made a schematic for the Lego ship he wanted to build. He drew it, then labeled it "Sonic Projection Ship." He never did get around to building it, though.

When Jeff was about to leave the room after tucking Simon in bed, Simon said, "You can stay in here. You can tell me all you know."

Simon came running out of his room as soon as we put him to bed last night. He struck his "superhero pose" and shouted, "Did someone say "Save the day!"?"

Simon has a Qui Gon Jinn Lego. Its Lego hair fell off and Simon said, "Uh oh. Qui Gon can't fight without his hair."

Simon: "I'm passion about my Legos."
Me: "I think you mean "passionate"."
Simon: "Yeah, that too."

Smart Idea

Simon, referring to a bag of gummy worms: "These are just begging to be eaten!"

Simon suggested that we go to Legoland. He did a thumbs up saying, "It's a good idea.", then he pointed at himself and added, "Smart idea."

For a while now, Simon has been telling me that he loves me so much there are hearts around his head.

Simon decided to practice writing. He got a pen and paper, drew his own guiding lines (complete with dotted line in the middle), then he was very quiet. A few minutes later, he came running in with his paper. He said, "Guess who wrote his own name? I did!" It was twice as funny because he's been able to do that for a while.

Gutsy Move

We went over to my mom's house last night. Simon was told to go take a bathroom break. He bellowed (there's no other word for it) from the bathroom, "Nothing!"

Simon is watching Cars for the upteenth time. He got to the part where Lightning McQueen revs his horn and all the tractor cows fall over. Simon looked at me and said, "That wasn't nice. Now they're all dead." I assured Simon that no one died and he looked at me and said, "They rolled over and can't get up. They're dead."

Simon had me help him spell "No teasing allowed". He wrote it on a piece of paper and taped it to the wall. I told him he was silly, and he pointed at the paper and said, "Read it, Mom. No. Teasing. Allowed."

Simon: "Mom, I really love you, but I love God more. Sorry."
Don't be sorry, Simon!!!

Me: "How'd you sleep last night? Did you have any good dreams?"
Simon: "How should I know? I forget these things."

Simon was given a new game last night. It's basically a kid version of Jenga and it is so much fun! Simon kept saying, "Gutsy move!", after every single one of his turns.

Christmas Eve

Simon: "I have something to say about Christmas Eve: snowman. That's all."

Simon: "I'm a nerd, like Dad and I'm geeking out about Ninja Turtles!"

Simon was playing with his Lego guys. He held one up and said, "Roger, roger", like he was talking into a walkie-talkie then he looked at me and said, "This guy's name is Roger."

Simon: "They sing really loud at church! They're louder than me!"

Simon is walking around the house, trying to sing the "Snow" song from White Christmas. Unfortunately, the only part he knows is, "Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow!" It's gotten rather old.

Simon: "I'm generous. You can have all  my old toys when I get presents. Except the ones I play with."

Something in Common

Simon asked suspiciously, "Is today a school day?"
When Jeff said yes, Simon said, "I knew it!"

Simon: "I can't go to school today."
Jeff: "Why not?"
Simon: "It's too much fun. I can't handle it."

Simon: "Mom, you're a slow poke. I'm a fast poke!"

Simon: "Am I adorable?"
Me: "Sometimes you're very adorable."
Simon: "Thanks, that's good to know."

Simon: "Mom, did you have a dog?"
Me: "No, I've never had a dog of my own."
Simon: "That's something we have in common."

Simon: "S'Barro's! Indescribably good!"

Simon gave me a kiss and said, "Mom, God gave me you because He loves me so much!"
That made my day!

Me: "Simon, do you want to give your teacher a Christmas present?"
Simon: "Yes! I want to give her those things I wear on my arms so I don't sink when I go swimming."
Me: "Floaties?"
Simon: "Yeah. Except she probably can swim, so...I'll get her shoes instead."
Me: "That's sweet of you, but I was thinking maybe we could make her cookies, or something."
Simon (sighing): " Yeah, I guess so."