"Being good is not as easy as it looks"

Simon asked, "Wanna see something intense?"
He then threw himself onto the floor and said, "It's a Buzz Lightyear flip!"

Simon: "How's your day so far?"
Me: "It's pretty good. How is your day?"
Simon: "Oh, you know. Business as usual."

Simon informed me that he's going to "a galaxy far, far away. It's called Florida." I had no idea that Florida was in another galaxy, but I suppose it makes sense.

Simon: "I need to practice."
Me: "What do you need to practice? Being cute?"
Simon: "No, I'm a natural at that. I need to practice whistling with my mouth and not tooting."

Simon solemnly informed me yesterday that "Being good is not as easy as it looks."

Simon built a sword out of megablocks. Of course it broke when he swung it. He looked at it and said, "Well, that was counterproductive."
It's been so long since he's said that!

We'll hopefully be taking Simon out to ride his new bike this afternoon. Have a great day!

Gently Defeated

Good morning! Some of these are from yesterday.

We were in the car. Simon asked, "Where are we going?"
Me: "To the library."
Simon: "And then we're going to the toy store to get me something!"
Me: "Simon, I didn't say that."
Simon: "I just said what Dad was thinking."
Ha ha ha!

I told Jeff that he lost his marbles. Simon yelled, "Yeah, Dad! You lost your mamas!"

Simon: "Mom, I respect you, so I defeat you gently."

Simon: "When I'm four, I'll be a superhero!"

Have a good day!

You're a cannibal!

I told Simon to eat his breakfast so that he would have energy for the day. He answered, "Only God gives me energy!"

Simon: "Mom, I aimed my weapon at you. I need to defeat you 'cause you're the villain."

Simon: "I'm back from outer space!"
Me: "What did you see out there?"
Simon: "Planets and stars and stuff."
Me: "Do you know the names of any of the planets you saw?"
Simon shrugs: "They were just planets. And Africa."
Hahahaha!

While playing with some cups in the bathtub, Simon explained that he was "getting deep into the earth." I asked him what he was going to do once he dug deep into the earth, and he answered, "I'm going to make soup!"

Simon: "Can we go back to Mr. Terry and Miss Stephanie's house? 'Cause it's more awesomer there."

Simon (to me): "You're a cannibal!"
I don't think he knows the definition of that word.

Simon: "Can you be pregnant? Please?"
I told him what that word means. He gave me a look of exasperation and said, "I know!"

"I text everyone on my list"

Happy Monday (no sarcasm intended)!

While at a SuperBowl party last night, Simon managed to "acquire" a cell phone. After sending a bunch of random messages, he said, "I text everyone on my list."
This morning he brought it up again and said, "I sent a secret plan to everybody on the phone. It was a scheme."

Simon: "I'm an expert at laughing. Hahahahahaha! See?"

Simon: "Knock, knock."
Me: "Who's there?"
Simon: "Fast Boy."
Me: "Fast Boy who?"
Simon: "Fast Boy who wants to open the door and go to the football party and say 'happy birthday' to that one Terry guy. Hahahaha!"
I'm not sure he understands the whole "joke" concept yet.

In unrelated news, Simon wore underwear to bed last night and stayed dry all night! I am so excited!

Happy Birthday to my Pants!

Simon: "Happy Birthday to my pants!"

Simon: "My Daddy is a loving Daddy because he loves me so so so much."
Yup!

Simon: "Scram is the word of the day."
Me: "Do you know what that means?"
Simon: "It means "go away". "
Me: "I guess I better go away, then" (I walked out of his room)
Simon (calling after me): "Thanks for scramming!"

Simon: "I have to bury you!"
Me: "That's not very nice."
Simon: "But the squirrel in Cat in the Hat (the tv show) buries things."
Me: "He only buries nuts."
Simon: "You're a nut!"
Touche.

Simon explains what his job is

We had tacos and tortilla chips with salsa the other night. Simon said, "I need bigger pants 'cause I ate a lot of chips!"

Simon: "Mom, are you fond of me?"
Me: "Yes, I am."
Simon: "Does that mean you're partial to me?"
Me: "I am partial to you, buddy."
Simon: "Does that mean you love me?"
Me: "I love you sooo much!"
Simon: "Aww. I'm fond of you too."

Simon gave me a hug. Then he looked at me and said, "I'm uncomfortable 'cause you're metal."
Uh, really?

Simon: "Uncle Ryan's going to come play, and I'm NEVER going to take a nap! Deal?"

Simon (while playing with his cars): "Uh, excuse me? I need a little help over here!"

Simon: "Part of your job is to clean stuff like the dishes and the silverware. My job is to see how fast cars go."
I made him help me unload the dishwasher. So there, buddy!

Have a great Friday!

"I talk a lot. Is it okay if I ramble on!"

Good morning!

I took Simon to the playground yesterday. I told him which way to go, and he said, "Good thinking, Mom!" He tries so hard to be encouraging.

I congratulated Simon on doing a good job on something and he said, "That's 'cause I'm a genius. Hahahaha! It's just a joke."

Simon: "I have to pounce on Dad and take him down, 'cause he's the bad guy!"
Me: "Well, make sure you're not too rough."
Simon: "Oh. I guess I'll pounce on Dad and give him a hug."

Simon was pretending he was a knight. He told me, "You get to be my squire. Help me put on my gauntlet."
Silly boy.

Simon: "I have something to show you. It's so cool, you won't believe it!"

Simon: "I talk a lot. Is it okay if I ramble on?"
Hahahaha! This one had me rolling on the floor!"