"I have allergies so I can't take a bath"

Some of today's Simon-isms:

Simon, while playing with a toy plane and pilot: "My pilot says his plane is his invention, but it's my invention!"

Simon: "I have allergies so I can't take a bath."

Simon: "Are you Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?"
Me: "No. I'm Mommy on the ground with Simon."
Simon: "That's even better."
Awww!

Simon fell and bumped his side on the table. He burst into tears and said, "I hurt my waist and I'm having a bad day!" And the Oscar for best actor in a drama goes to...

"I want Mom to be henchman # 3!"

Good morning! Some of these are from last night. A brief explanation: Simon has decided that motorcycles are the coolest things ever.

Simon to Jeff: "I want Mom to be henchman number 3!"

Jeff was singing a song and Simon really wanted him to stop. He looked at Jeff and said, "Stop singing. Your song is inappropriate for me." It wasn't.

Simon: "Bbbbbwwwuuuurrrrrpppp! Write that down." Hahaha!

Simon: "When I'm riding my motorcycle, if I fall off and my motorcycle keeps going, that would be awkward."

Simon came running into our room first thing this morning and said, "I'm a bad guy motorcycle guy!"
Me: "Good morning, Simon."
Simon: "Oh. Yeah. Right. Good morning!"
He forgot to say good morning; he just started right in!"

Worst Case Scenarios

Today has been interesting. This morning was about the usual, but Simon threw the mother of all fits on the way back from church today. He finally calmed down and managed to take a nap, but it left me pretty tired.

Simon, explaining why he threw a fit: "I have a fever in my tummy and it's allergies and it's making me cry. I need soup and candy bars." He did have a slight fever (that could have been because he got so worked up), and he was quieter than usual this morning. Tonight he's been running around like usual, so I'm not worried.

Simon: "I'm one of those motorcycle guys who are bad guys who ride motorcycles. We are on the job!"

During his bath, Simon wiggled so much that he got a face full of water. Jeff told him that he just experienced a worst case scenario and Simon answered, "You are the one that destroyed me!"

Here's hoping that there are no more epic fits on the way!

Flashers

Simon: "I'm the Flasher! I go really fast!"
Jeff: "You mean you're the Flash."
Simon: "No, I'm the Flasher!"

This morning, Simon said to me: "You look like a human being. Weird."

I told Simon to eat his breakfast (he has a problem with eating) and he said, "I can't eat. I'm distracted."

Simon: "How do you spell 'super green lantern guy with a power ring that's green and he saves the day'?"
Why can't he ask how to spell 'cat'? It's a lot less complicated.

Enjoy your weekend!
Simon has been listening to toddler music all morning. I've now heard a hip-hop version of "the Itsy Bitsy Spider." I tell you , it's unnatural. If you find me sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, moaning and tearing my hair out, you know why.

A new noggin

Good morning! Some of these are from last night.

Simon was playing superheroes-I was supposed to be the "bad guy". After I let him knock his toy sword out of my hand he said, "Now I defeated the rest of the bad guys you hang out with." Than he handed me the sword and started over again. We played superhero for a good chunk of the day yesterday.

Simon: "Where's the Batman vehicle in this joint?"

Jeff put his baseball hat on Simon. Simon took it off, handed it back to Jeff, and said, "I don't need to wear your hat because I'm not you."

This morning Simon was looking at one of his books. He pointed to a picture and said, "I'm confused about this, whatever it is."

Last night Simon hit his head pretty hard. He's got a big bump. This morning he said, "I need a new noggin, because this one's broken."

Simon: I'm giving you a hug because it makes you happy and then I defeat you 'cause you're distracted!"

For some reason, Simon is always "defeating" me. Hmmm...that bears some thinking. Have a wonderful day and enjoy your weekend!

"If I lived in the Bible, I'd have to wear a dress"

Good morning. Most of these are from yesterday.

Simon said, out of the blue, "Mom, it's just a disco."
I don't know what he was talking about, but it made me laugh.

I took Simon to the bathroom  yesterday and he said, "Sorry, it's just not happening."

Me: "Simon, we need to change your clothes."
Simon (in a very whiny voice):"Why? I don't want to."
Me: "Because they're dirty."
Simon: "Oh. Why didn't you say so?"

Simon: "I have a very important question for you. In Diary of a Wimpy Kid, why does that kid go in the basement?"
Hahaha!

Simon: "If I lived in the Bible, I'd have to wear a dress."
Hahaha!

Simon: "I'm a him."

Halloween quotes

We had a great time taking Simon trunk-or-treating last night. He dressed up as a knight. It was the first time Simon has done anything for Halloween. He seems bummed that it's over, but it was a blast.

Simon: "I can't see a thing with my helmet down!" The helmet is a little big and the visor goes all the way down to his chin because of it.

He ended up stalking a little boy dressed as Batman. After the little kid left, Simon said, "Batman was too fast for me!"

This morning, Simon came running into the bedroom with his bag of Halloween candy. He said, "I can eat candy for breakfast because it's good."
Jeff: "It's way too early to eat candy, buddy."
Simon: "Then you can eat it for breakfast because it's good."

Simon (talking about the boy dressed as Batman):"There were tons of Batman last night, but I found the best one!"

We're off to the doctor because Simon has been holding his ears and complaining that everything is too loud. I hope it's nothing, but better safe than sorry. I hope you all had a great time yesterday. I know we did!