An 80's Cat

Simon: "Scamps is so black and white! She's like an 80's cat. You know, in the 80's, when they first started making black and white movies."

Simon: "Oh no! Scamps jumped on my Lego creation and broke it! I bet that hurt. She's hurt on the outside and I'm hurt on the inside."

Simon: "Ah, I am gettin' up there."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Simon: "I'm so old. I mean, you're in your thirties, right?"
Me: "Yes."
Simon: "Well, I'm six. That means I'm in my sixties. I'm getting old."

Simon: "My hair looks new wave or punk rock. If I go to a punk rock concert, all the ladies are going to go wild for my cool style."

Me: "Simon, can I have a goodnight hug and kiss?"
Simon: "I'm too hyper for romance."