Butterflies

Simon: "All superheroes have a weakness, just like I have a weakness which is macaroni and cheese. And pizza. Deep dish."

Simon (looking betrayed): "Why are they called butterflies? They're not made out of butter!"

Simon: "Mom, why did they name the game 'Simon Says' after me?"
Simon: "We're the Dude family. You're Mom Dude, Dad is Dad Dude, and I'm Simon Elias Dude. Grandma is Grandma Dude and Papa Rich is Rich Dude."

Simon hit his head and started crying. I asked where he hit it and, after pointing out the sore spot, Simon started sobbing, "I hope it's not my frontal lobe!"

Simon: "I don't know what to write a comic about! My mind is blank. All I can think is stuff that already has been made, like Simon's Cat."
Me: "Well, I like your Stick Dude comics and Hot the Hot Dog is really cool."
Simon: "Well, I can't do those because I'm moving on to more advanced stuff."

Foul Tastes

Simon: "You're an employee, just like Dad, except you're my employee. Do you know where my employees go? They stay in my closest until they're ready to come out and work."
Me: "What was your favorite thing about school today?"
Simon: "You."
I love my little smooth talker.

Simon: "You're an employee, just like Dad, except you're my employee. Do you know where my employees go? They stay in my closest until they're ready to come out and work."

Simon: "Mom, how do I make my hiccups hic down?"

I gave Simon an allergy chewable, but it was grape flavored. He screamed and ran down the hall, waving his arms around. When he finally swallowed, Simon grimaced and said, "That tastes foul!"

Simon just came running into the room in nothing but his underwear. He stopped and shouted, "My legs are abandoned!"

Simon liked an idea I had, so he came and wrapped his arms around my head. He said, "I'm trying to hug your brain."

My 31st Birthday Gift From Simon

This is what Simon gave me for my birthday. The second heart is engraved with "I love you."

Simon picked the engraving for the box. I love it! It's dripping with his personality!

A Quest

Simon: "Mom, did you know that soap is made out of ivory?"
Guess what brand of soap we have?

Me: "Simon, go make your bed."
Simon: "I wish I'd never been born because then I could just do back flips in your tummy all the time."

Jeff and I were talking and Jeff mention the word "sister in-law". Simon asked what Jeff was talking about and Jeff answered that he was talking about my sister. Simon asked what "in-law" meant and, once Jeff explained, said, "I think "in-law' means you get to tell people what to do because mothers-in-laws get to boss you around." Once Jeff and I stopped laughing, Simon explained that he knew that "because of the story of Ruth. You know, in the Bible."

Simon: "Dad, your nickname is Mr. Genius!"
Me: "What's my nickname?"
Simon: "Baron Von Mom."


Simon is coloring a picture of King Tut. He says, "He's going to be in style!"

Simon: "All they do is sit around all the time."
Me: "Who?"
Simon: "Presidents."

Simon: "Mom, I think you're actually quite interesting."

Simon: "Do you want to know my pulse? It's five, because I'm so tall."

Simon: "I'll make a quest for you when my work is all done."
Me: "How are you going to do that?"
Simon: "I'm going to hide my work and give you clues, and you're going to have to search for it, and there will be a map.

Christmas Morning, 2013

Just the three of us.

Jeff thanks Simon for his Christmas gift: hockey stick pencils and some journals.

Simon gave me a book about dragons.

Simon with all of his new Lego and Megablock sets.

I taught Simon how to yo-yo.

Building Lego sets

Green Lantern ring.

I'm ruined!

A conversation that I was told about this morning:
Sunday School Leader:"When the angels appeared to the shepherds, how did the shepherds react?"
Simon: "They FREAKED OUT!"
Teacher: "What's another way of saying that?"
Simon: "Panicked?"
Simon: "What is it with me and physical philosophies?"

It's hard not to laugh when you're disciplining your kid and he starts sobbing and repeating over and over, "I'm ruined!"

Simon: "I want to go on vacation. Where can we go?"
Me: "Where would you like to go on vacation?"
Simon: "Can you give me some options?"

Simon was given a little Nativity Scene snowglobe at church. He went running to show Jeff, yelling, "Look! BabyJesusinasnowglobe!" all in one breath.


Simon: "What is is with me and dad and violence?"
Me: "What are you talking about?"

Simon: "Well, we both like sword fights and stuff."

Buoys!

Me: "The book you wrote is great, Simon."
Simon: "Yes! It is!"
Jeff (sarcastically): "Wow, way to be humble."
Me: "Simon, when someone gives you a compliment, you say 'thank you'. People need stay humble."
Simon: "What's "humble" mean?"
The more Jeff tried to explain, the more confused Simon got. Eventually, Jeff just yelled, "When someone says something nice, just say 'thank you'. You don't need to yell, "I'm awesome, sucka! Eat it!"
I laughed so hard!

Simon: "What are those?"
Me: "Buoys."
Simon: "What?"
Me (slightly louder): "Buoys."
Simon: "WHAT???"
Me: "BUOYS!"
Simon: "What's "boobies"?"

Simon: "You're cool, Mom!"
Me: "You're cool!"
Simon: "You're awesome, Mom!"
Me: "You're awesome!"
Simon: "Wow! I can't believe you said that to me! Thanks!"