"I'm hysterical!"

Simon has a Cars tattoo on his arm. He said to my husband, "Dad, tell me who this is. You get three guesses."

Simon: "The yawns mean I'm starting to get tired and busy-tailed."

Simon: "I don't want to be Batman. He eats bat food. I'm Robin. He's eats mac and cheese."

Simon came running up to me yesterday (he was supposed to be taking a nap) and said, "I had a bright idea!"
I told him his idea had better be going back to bed.

Simon: "I am in dire need of macaroni and cheese."

Simon got frustrated with the Lego car he was trying to make. He told me, "I'm hysterical! I need to take a break!"

Simon: "Dad, are your bones still put together?"

Mr. Terry: "Hey, Simon, have you eaten a play-doh cake before?"
Simon:"No, Mr. Terry."
Mr. Terry: "Then how do you know it tastes bad?"
Simon: "I might have had a little..."

"Am I a kid, or am I a Muppet?"

Simon and his multiple band-aids

It's been awhile since I've written a post, so some of these are a few days old.

My husband got Simon up at 6:30 the other day, so that I could take Simon to our small group  breakfast. Usually, Simon is alert and ready to go long before the alarm goes off, but this time he rolled over and said, "Dad, you need to fix the clock." I guess he didn't like the time.

Simon had been walking around with his mouth hanging open, every few seconds asking, "Is my tooth loose yet?"
I told him that he won't start losing his baby teeth until he's five or six and he started asking, "Am I five yet?"

Simon (singing): "Sleepy eyes are not so good, not so good, not so good..."

My little man fell the other day. I started the long, arduous process of cleaning and and putting on band-aids. Simon only cried a little when he fell, but once the band-aids started going on, he burst into tears and sniffled, "I have a bad life!"

Simon to Jeff: "Mom knows everything about stuff."

After getting his bath, Simon threw the towel (which had been wrapped around him) on the floor and loudly announced, "I'm unwrapped!"

Simon's new favorite thing to say: "Oh, my sweet potatoes!"
He is creative, I'll give him that.

This one will only make sense if you've seen the new Muppets movie. Simon has been singing, "Am I a kid, or am I a Muppet?" while bopping around the living room.

Scooterbaker

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Giving a Rough House

Simon pulled on my fingers when I tried to leave after putting him down for his nap yesterday. My knuckled popped. Simon said, "Sorry for cracking you!"

Simon: "After dinner, I'll fight Dad. I'll punch him. Then he'll punch me and I'll go flying!"
Just a reassurance; no one in our family is being abused.

Simon: "When I pee in the potty and flush the potty at the same time, that's called multitasking." (In a singsong voice) "Mul-ti-tas-king!"


Jeff was heading down the stairs to go to work today. Simon said, "Dad, come back! I have to give you something."
Once Jeff got to the top of the stairs, Simon lightly punched him in the stomach. Then he told me, "I gave Dad a roughhouse."

Dirty Bird

Simon: "God follows me everywhere. He's in my shadow."

After Simon woke up from his nap yesterday (he actually took one) I asked if he would give me a hug. He answered, "Sure! I just need to stretch first."

Simon: "Mom, you burped. You should be embarrassed. "
The funny thing? I hadn't burped.

Simon came running into my room this morning. Instead of yelling his usual "The light is green!", he was shouting, "What's the plan for today? What's the plan for today?"

Simon: "We're skipping my bath. It's okay if I'm a dirty bird 'cause Legos can't smell."
He obviously wanted to play Legos instead of bathing.

Yesterday Simon decided his stuffed Big Bird was a parrot. Of course I went along with his little game. This morning I asked if he could put his parrot back on his bed. Simon patted my arm  (rather condescendingly) and said, "Mom, don't you know? Big Bird's not a parrot. It's okay, though. You can say he is if you want."

"Can you make me taller?"

Good morning! I've got a bit more than usual today:

Simon said to me, "When you get to be my age, you're going to be a space master."

Simon: "I'm lousy with eating food."

Simon asked Jeff, "Can I go through a growth spurt and check how tall I am?"

Jeff was turning on the computer. Simon said, "No, you need to click on the picture!"
Jeff: "Thanks!"
Simon: "No problem. I'm really good at computer stuff now."

Simon: "Can you make me taller so I can reach my balloon?"

Simon: "How old am I?"
Jeff: "You're four, Buddy."
Simon: "Aw, man! I thought I was five now!"

Simon has started saying he has a "brother". I think he's teaming up with Jeff to convince me he needs a sibling.
Simon: "My brother is smaller than me."
Me: "How old is he?"
Simon: "He's five teen."
Me: "Simon, if you had a brother who was fifteen, he'd be older than you."
Simon: "Nuts! I thought I was older!"

Tricky

On Wednesday, Simon had help making a paper airplane. He proudly showed it to me and said, "This plane flies to Australia!"

Jeff: "What do you want to thank God for?"
Simon: "The whole universe!"
Jeff: "Is there anything more specific you want to pray about?"
Simon: "Robots."

I caught Simon talking to his Lego guys: "Hello, you two! What are you up to?"

Thanks to the game Apples to Apples, Simon has decided that his new favorite term is "roadkilling". I would explain that it's "roadkill" but I don't really want him running around saying that, either. Ha ha!

Last night we had some friends over and Simon had an epic sword battle with one of them. This morning, he said: "I fought Hobie and I defeated him because I was tricky! I think I cheated."
Simon had so much fun with both Hobie and his sister that he's already annoyed at me because they aren't coming back over today. I am losing popularity points here.

Simon: "I like you hair. 'Cause it's really funny when you put it behind your ears!"