Babysitting Fun

A few of these are from this morning, but most of them happened while my mom was babysitting.

Simon was riding in the back of a friend's truck next to a little girl. She started crying and Simon said, "She needs to be distracted." He knows how to calm down an infant!

I moved a bag out of reach of the little girl and she started to cry. I said, "I know, I'm mean." and Simon said, "You're not mean! You're lovely and nice! You're a sweetheart!"
I told him thank you and that he was a sweetheart and he said, "I am a sweetheart, but I have a temper problem."

Simon's grandma was coming over to babysit. Simon said, "I love your mom. I love everybody."

While my mom was here, she wanted to watch the Muppets with Simon (she hadn't seen it yet). Simon wanted to watch Cars (of course) for the millionth time. My mom said, "Pleeeeaaassse can we watch the Muppets?" Apparently Simon answered, "Very well."

Simon and my mom were putting away Simon's toys and he told her that they were "being effective".

My mom was cutting Simon's hair and he was getting really antsy. She told him to look in the mirror and see how silly he'd look with only half his hair cut. Simon went and looked and said, "I look like Walter." (From the Muppets).

War Hug!

Simon has started singing, "Shave and a haircut, dirtbike."

Simon slipped a piece of paper under the bathroom door (he does that all the time) then yelled, "It says, "I love you so much!" and it says it's from Simon. That's me."

Simon was putting away his toys and I wanted to give him his vitamin before I forgot. I told him he could stop cleaning up for a minute and he said, "I can't. Rules are rules, buddy."
Of course, he didn't actually finish putting his toys away. He hid under the sofa and played with his Legos.

I was hugging Simon this morning. Jeff came over and started hugging us both. Simon said, "It's a war hug!"

Simon: "Is it my birthday?"
Me: "Not yet."
Simon: "Is it my birthday now?"
Me: "No, Simon."
Simon: "Is it my birthday now?"
Me: "Simon, you birthday isn't until Tuesday."
Simon: "Oh. Pretend today is Tuesday."

Optimus Prime vs. Megatron

Simon: "My superpower is love."
I like that superpower.

Simon: "This hand" (holds up left hand) "is Optimus Prime. My right hand is violent because it's Megatron."
Simon then proceeded to start smacking himself in the head with his right hand while pulling at his right hand with his left. What does that remind you of?

Simon has a disk shooter (one of those junky ones from a kid meal or something; I honestly have no idea where he got it) which he was playing with, "I found a disk! I'm rich!"

A little girl was coughing while drinking a water yesterday. Simon started coughing too. I said, "Are you  mimicking her?" and Simon answered, "No. I'm mocking her."
Later one, we had a talk about being nice.

Simon decided to rename one of his stuffed animals "Elijah" after one of his favorite Bible characters.

Simon: "I can't eat 'cause I'm distracted."

I've been able to tell when Simon is about to misbehave lately because he's started saying, "Don't look at me" when he's about to do something he's not supposed to do.

Simon has been laying on the floor singing, "Shave and a haircut, two bits." It's cracking me up!

Electric Swords

Simon: "Where's Dad?"
Me: "He had to go to work early."
Simon: "That's a bummer."

Simon has informed me that today he is...wait for it...AWKWARD BOY!

After I read Dr. Seuss' book Wacky Wednesday to Simon, he's decided that pretty much everything is wacky. He's including me in that assessment.

I told Simon that he got invited to a birthday party and he said, "I'm invited to my birthday party too!"
He's invited to his party? Gee, I hope he plans on making an appearance. Ha ha!

Simon: "I fight fire with a sword!"
Me: "Really?"
Simon: "Well, an electric one?"
Me: "Does Uncle Mike fight fire with a sword?" (Simon's uncle is a firefighter)
Simon: "No! Uncle Mike has a lightsabre instead of a sword."

Simon was playing with Legos. He told me that he built "A Dirtbike 3000. It clutches up bad guys!"

Enjoy your day!

The Fair

                                                Simon flirting with a fairgoer

Jeff and Simon were sharing some gummy worms the other day.  Simon said, "Thanks for sharing with me.I really enjoy these!"

After Jeff gave Simon a gummy worm, Simon looked at me and said, "What did Dad give this to me for?"
Me: "Because he was sharing."
Simon: "Oh, I do love sharing!"

We were all watching 'Wheel of Fortune' and trying to solve the puzzle, Simon said, "I guess it was Owen because of the O's but I was wrong, so I don't get the prizes." Owen is a little friend of his.

Simon to me: "You're very huggable."

There's a little girl in Simon's Sunday School class named Ansley. Simon has a little crush on her.
Simon: "When Ansley comes, I think she's pretty! Pretty and Beautiful."

Jeff and I were listing all the people in our small group so that I'd make enough for breakfast for everyone on Sunday. Simon came over and joined the fun:
"Joke, the Mad Hatter, Megatron...There's my list of enemies." Ha ha ha! I think he misunderstood what we were doing.

We went to the fair yesterday. Simon is very skittish around loud noises and he had a tough time around the games. I mentioned to the friend we went with that I thought it was just sensory overload. Simon remembered.
Me: "What did you like at the fair?"
Simon: "The animals. Like the horses, and the cow, and the fat pig."
Me: "Is there anything you didn't like?"
Simon (very solemnly): "The rides.I have sensry load. It makes me nauseous."

There was a little girl that was with us yesterday. Simon said, "When she was screeching, I was very concerned." She wasn't screeching, she was just a little upset at one point.

Making Music

Yesterday, Simon stared down at his skinny little legs poking out of his shorts. He said, "My legs look awkward."
Me: "Why do you think that? Is it because you're wearing shorts?"
Simon: "Because I don't have those knee pads that make me go fast."

Simon: "It's fun to make music! Burping is music."

Simon: "I'm a transformer named Spitstream!"
Ew!!!

Simon: "I just agreed with you."
(I hadn't said anything to him, so I was a little confused)Me: "What did agree with me about?"
Simon: "Nothing. I disagree with you all the time!"

Simon (smiling the whole time): "I'm having a grumpy day."
Me: "Why? Is it because you went to bed late last night but you didn't sleep late this morning?"
Simon: "Yup, that's about it!"
He wasn't remotely grumpy.

A Ninja Warrior for God

Simon: "I'm so cool, I can't even think of myself!"

After his bath, Simon told me, "I'm cold like a ninja in the desert!"

Simon: "I'm a ninja warrior for God."

Simon got frustrated over his Green Lantern mask this morning.
Simon: "Stupid mask!"
Me: "Simon, we don't use that word, remember?"
Simon:"Oh, yeah. It's a very strong word."