Mulch

Simon gave me a big hug and said, "This is how you turn an enemy into a friend."

Jeff was poking me. Simon shouted, "Stop picking on my mother!"
Ha ha, he took my side!

Simon: "Today at school, a lot of kids were running. They accidentally knocked me over."
Jeff: "Are you okay?"
Simon: "Yeah. I just fell in the mulch."

Simon: "Do I have hair on my chest yet?"

Simon was humming to himself in the car this morning. All of a sudden he got really upset.
Simon: "Jesus doesn't love me!"
Me: "Of course He does!"
Simon: "But the song says, "red or yellow, black or white" and my shirt is orange!"
I had to explain to him that the song was talking about skin color. It took a minute to get him to calm down; he was very sure that Jesus had a clothing preference.

Jeff got cut off twice yesterday. After the second time, Jeff asked, "Am I invisible?"
Without missing a beat, Simon answered, "Yes. Yes, you are."

Like a Boss

On our way to the car today (after picking Simon up from school), Simon said, "Look at me, walking like a boss!"

Simon: "I'm in the background. You're in the frontground."

Simon kicked a really good pass at soccer practice today. I told him what a good job he did and he said, "I did a killer kick! It almost killed me!"

Simon picked out some pants at the store the other day. He's very proud of them and wore them for the first time today. I said, "I like your pants, Simon."
He smiled and said, "Thanks! They're my best feature!"


Simon: "I want to watch Spiderman!"
Jeff: "You're not old enough, buddy. But when you're older, you can watch Spiderman, and Iron Man, and Avengers. You'll have a superhero time!"
Simon: "And you'll  have a naptime!"

Jedi Knights Don't Bake

I took Simon to get his hair cut. He chattered non-stop the entire time. When the lady finished, he interrupted himself mid-sentence (he was describing the plotline to Lego Star Wars) and said, "That's about the size of things. Thank you." Then he got up and walked away!
Simon: " Here's a joke: a stormtrooper said, "I am your father", and Darth Vader said, "Hey, that's my line!". Is that funny?"

Simon: "What Star Wars movies did I see?"
Me: "Four and five. We're going to get six from the library soon."
Simon: "Is that the one where they crack the Han Solo ice cube?"
Simon: "I'm a great superhero, 'cause I have a personal trainer."

Simon: "I want to highlight that part in my Bible when Paul talks about talking in lungs."

Simon, while playing in the bath, decided to made me a frappucino with no whipped cream.

"Look, it's Dad! He has a huge smile on his face!"

"I can't wait for the firetruck! It's going to be epic! EPIC!" [the firetruck is coming to his school on Thursday].

Simon just squealed from his bedroom. When I went to tuck him back in, I asked why he'd done that. He answered, "To be cute. Was I cute?"
Simon is watching "What's in the Bible with Buck Denver". This video is talking about sin. Simon said, "Everybody sins. Except Buck Denver. He's a puppet. Puppets don't sin."
Simon was playing with a little girl at church last night. She asked Simon to help her bake a cake, to which Simon replied (very seriously), "I'm a Jedi Knight. Jedi Knights don't bake."

When I picked Simon up from school he said, "I have a good attitude. Are you having a good day now, Mom?"
His teacher couldn't stop laughing.
Simon is such a little gentleman: every time he ran in front of another kid while playing soccer, he'd say "excuse me!". That kid cracks me up.