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Monday, October 31, 2011

"Stop those maniacs!"


Simon: "I'm gonna get something at the store."
Jeff: "We'll see."
Simon: "We'll see. I'm saying the same thing because we're communicating."

Simon (pointing his water pistol at me): "You're too cool so you're under arrest!"

Simon was having a lightsaber fight with the air. All of the sudden he shouted, "Stop those maniacs!"
Funny boy.

Simon: "I'm Dark Vader" (he has a hard time saying 'darth' sometimes) "so I have lots of bad guy soldiers. Sneeze them!" He was trying to say 'seize them'.



We're excited to take Simon trunk-or-treating this year. It's at a church, so there won't be any costumes that will scare Simon. It's been rainy, so I really hope the weather clears up.
Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

A Robot Named 9-1-1



Simon: "Am I a human being?"
Me: "Yes, you are."
Simon: "But I thought I was a person."
Me: "Well, a human being is the same thing as a person."
Simon: "What does being a human being have to do with a person?"
Me: "You're a person, but you're also a  human being because both words mean the same thing."
Simon: "Please call me a boy next time."

Simon: "I am a robot named 9-1-1. I'm only for emergencies."

Simon was still hadn't gotten even halfway through his breakfast after forty five minutes of sitting at the table. I told him he needed to pick up the pace a little and he said, "I win the 'slowest eater' prize!"

Simon: "Does Grandma love Robin?"
Me: "She loves you more."
Simon: "She has to love Robin so she can play with me because I'm Robin!"

Simon: "If you write 'garbage' and 'truck', you make a garbage truck!"

Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

"Batman's nocturnal"

Simon: "Batman's nocturnal."

I took Simon to the park in our apartment complex yesterday. He saw a maintenance man opening the door to a storage closet and office and said, "The maintenance doctor lives in there."
Me: "No, buddy, that's just his office."
Simon: "He fixes stuff. He's a doctor. Doctors live in offices."

Simon picked up an orange crayon and compared it to the pumpkins, "These are the same! See the difference?" Haha!

Simon was playing spaceman with me. He held up two of his little astronaut toys and asked me what they were doing. I said that they were going to the moon and he answered, "No, they're going to the movie theater."

Simon: "I love you, Mommy, your highness!"

Simon: "The Ninja Turtles always defeat me and it's giving me a headache!"

Simon: "I'm giving you a hug because I don't want to be in big trouble."
...And the manipulation attempts start.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Pumpkin Soldiers

Good morning. Some of these are from yesterday.

Simon was tossing a sofa pillow above his head. He said the pillow was "technology". He dropped it and said, "Oh no! The technology fell on my head!"

Simon: " It's dark and I'm sleepy."
Me: "It's early. You can go back to bed, cutie."
Simon: "No, 'cause my light is green." (The traffic light on his alarm clock turns green when he can get up)

Simon: "Can we paint pumpkins?"
Me: "We already did, remember?"
Simon: "But I need a green one."
Me: "You painted yours green."
Simon: "But I need pumpkin soldiers! So I need more."

Simon: "One day, when I'm big and stronger, I'll tell you what to do and be the boss."
I'm guessing he'll start attempting this pretty soon.

Simon: "Your book doesn't have pictures. It's booorinnng!"Me: "I use my imagination when I read."
Simon: "Oh. Does it hurt?"

Simon: "I'm a cyber-robot. I don't know how to play nice."

Have a good day!

Monday, October 24, 2011

An Aunt Jemima Commercial

Today has started out in a very stressful way. Poor Jeff is facing so much bad treatment and passive-aggressive behavior at work. I feel horrible for him, and helpless to do anything. I really hope that he'll find a great new job a.s.a.p!

Anyway, here are some more "Simonisms":

Simon: "Am I fast?"
Me: "You are so fast!"
Simon: "I'm a fast kid, I know."

Simon: "Mmmm, golden waffles with delicious syrup."
He needs to be in an Aunt Jemima commercial.

Simon: "I got a brilliant idea! I'm going to be a robot."

Simon: "If I put syrup in water, it'll turn into water."
Me: "Please don't try it".
Simon: "But being naughty is so fun!"
Oh boy.

We have two pictures of chefs cooking. In one of them, the chef is holding a giant plate of spaghetti. Simon asked why and (always taking advantage of any chance to tell Simon to eat) I said, "He loves to eat spaghetti. It makes him big and strong."
Simon answered, "Chefs don't get hungry, people do! Chefs are cooks and they don't eat."
Haha!

I hope you all have a great day. Here's hoping our day will improve!

Sunday, October 23, 2011






Good morning!

Simon: "I want to paint pumpkins!"
Jeff: "You painted pumpkins yesterday."
Simon: "Show me yesterday."
Jeff: "I can't, it doesn't work that way."
Simon: "Show me on the computer!"

Simon: "Mom, where's my water pistol? I need it to make you feel better!"
For some reason, I doubt his water pistol will heal my cold.

Me: "Simon, eat your breakfast, please."
Simon: "But I already did that yesterday!"

I poured myself some cereal for breakfast. The last time I ate cereal, we lived in Utah. Jeff eats it every day. Simon looked at me, then the cereal and said, "Don't eat Dad's breakfast!"

We all had a great time painting pumpkins last night. Simon decided not to paint his orange, but he did paint the entire thing green. Here are some pictures:

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Simon's favorite thing about our car

We told Simon that we're going to get a pumpkin today for him to paint. He got very excited and said, "I'm going to paint it orange!" Uh...

Simon went to wave to Jeff out the window this morning, the way he does every morning when Jeff goes to work. He scrunched his eyes closed and said, "Dad, come back! I can't see a thing!"

Simon: "I love my car! It has a back seat and it is sooo cool!"

Simon asked me a question. I didn't answer right away (I had just taken a big drink) and he said, "Mo-om! You're not listening to me!"
He's very much an instant gratification type of kid.

Simon spilled some yogurt on his shirt. He looked down and yelled, "I can't believe it!"

Every day for the last week and a half, Simon has been asking if it's trunk-or-treat time. I hope it ends up living up to his standards.

Simon came sauntering (there's no other word for it) over and asked, "So...what's up?"
As far as distractions go, it wasn't bad. It took me a minute to realize he was trying to keep me from seeing the milk he had spilled all over. I don't know if it was an accident; I didn't ask.

Have a great weekend!

Friday, October 21, 2011

"I come in peace"

Today was the first day that Simon wore a coat and hat out to play. It's finally starting to feel a little bit like Fall. Or winter for Florida. Either way, if my little guy decides to sleep during his nap time, I'm making hot chocolate. I hope all of you enjoy your fall day too.

Simon (while shaking his butt):"I'm rocking out!"

Simon: "Mom, I don't like this song because it's lame."

Simon decided to wear a beanie while playing outside this morning. He informed me that, "Geniuses wear beanies." Silly boy.

I took Simon outside to play. There was a tiny bit of wind. He looked at me and asked, "Is this a gentle breeze?"

Simon: "I don't like loud noises. They give me headaches. That's why I wake up a lot."
I started to get worried and wonder if I needed to get his ears checked or something. Then he followed it up with this: "That car is giving me a headache."
Me: "Simon, it's off."
Simon: "Oh, right. Never mind, then."

Simon kept making mounds of sand in the park, then poking holes in it. I asked what he was doing and he said, "I'm making anthills! Come on, ants! Live here."

While playing in the park, Simon asked, "What's that boink sound?"
Me: "I don't know. I didn't hear anything."
Simon: "It's a mystery."

Simon (while in the bathtub):"When it comes to water, I come in peace."
Hahaha!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Uncle Ryan's Birthday

This morning Jeff read Simon the Bible story about Mary pouring perfume on Jesus' feet and Judas wanting to use that money to "give to the poor" (he wanted to keep it, selfish dude.) Simon told Jeff that Judas wanted to "put the money in his bank". Right in one, Buddy.

Simon: "Why is the sky getting so bright?"
Me: "Because the sun is coming up. See? It's peeking over the trees, there."
Simon: "Oh! That's in a movie. What movie is it in?"
Me: "I don't know if it's in a movie."
Simon: "It's in Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."
My son, the Beatles fan.

Tip:
Do not try to hug an excited three-year-old. Simon jumped up in the air while I was hugging him and gave me a fat lip.

Me: "Simon, guess what? Today is Uncle Ryan's birthday."
Simon: "What's with him?"
Me: "What?"
Simon: "Where is he?"
Me: "He's probably celebrating his birthday at his house."
Simon (with his sad face): " But he's supposed to celebrate at our house!"
Happy Birthday, Ryan!

Jeff is officially Simon's favorite right now. I handed Simon the hand towel and he said, "I want Dad to do it."

Simon: "Mom, why do you sound weird."
Me: "I lost my voice."
Simon (with panic in his voice): "Oh no! Where did it go?"
Me: "It just isn't working right now because I'm sick."
Simon: "Oh. Is Dad working right now?"

Have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Where energy comes from

A couple more:

Simon was jumping up and down on his bed yelling, "I have energy! I have energy!"
Jeff asked, "Where did you get all that energy?"
Simon answered, "From me."

Simon: "I'm catching a frog". (while hopping around the living room)
He smacked into the wall, then told me (while rubbing his head), "I'm done catching frogs now."

Simon spilled water all over the floor. His eyes wide, he said, "Uh oh. I'm in big trouble now!"
After Jeff wrapped Simon's towel around him after his bath, Simon said, "I'm wrapped up like a present!"

Simon had an accident. His reaction: "I'm rusty." Haha!

I went in the bathroom and Simon started pounding on the door yelling, "I have your drops! I have your drops!" He had grabbed the cough drops and he decided he couldn't wait to give them to me.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"I have to extracise"

This morning Simon told me that he didn't need to go to the bathroom because he had to "extracise". Somehow, I don't think the two are related.

Simon told the lady at the grocery store, "When you get done with work on Halloween, you can come trunk-or-treating with me and give me candy!" Oh, boy.

We told Simon that he could have a donut (something we don't usually have in the house) after his nap. He said, "But the donuts are calling my name! They're saying, 'Simon come eat me."

We told Simon that he could use some of his allowance to buy himself a toy at the dollar store. He said, "I can buy Dad a knight shield and sword and we can sword fight!"

While watching Toy Story, Simon said, "Wow! That guy (referring to Buzz Lightyear) can really fly!"


I'm feeling sick, so I'm kind of out of it. While I was changing Simon's pull-up during his nap ( he deliberately went in his pull-up AGAIN!) I said (or thought I said)," Where are you supposed to poop?"
Simon: "In bed."
Me: "No, you're supposed to in the potty."
It was only after his look of confusion that I realized that I had actually said: "Where are you supposed to sleep?" Wow.

Here's hoping I'll feel better tomorrow!

Monday, October 17, 2011




Again, some of these are from yesterday:

Simon (with his sad face): "I was rude to Grandma. I need to go to church and say sorry."
Me: "Do you want to call and apologize."
Simon: "No, 'cause I'm eating lunch."
If you read this, mom, Simon is sorry!

We watch America's Funniest Videos on Sunday nights with Simon. Last night, he kept bogarting Jeff's popcorn as he picked a piece up. It was so funny!

Simon puts on his knight helmet and runs around the house while Jeff makes horse noises, via Monty Python technique (hands, not cocoanuts, sadly). Simon fell over behind the sofa then said, "I fell off the horse. It didn't work out."

Simon puts on the helmet: "Now I'm Sir Simon Knight."  He takes off the helmet: "Now I'm just Simon." Puts on the helmet: "Now I'm Sir Simon Knight." This goes on for quite some time.

Simon apparently needs protection everywhere; he wore his knight helmet while going to the bathroom and brushing his teeth (that one was difficult).

Me: "Simon, don't bang your head on the wall!"
Simon: "But I'm a knight! My helmet protects me!"
Me: "But you shouldn't bang your head on the wall."
Simon: "Where can I bang my head, then?"

Simon: "Are there animals on the computer? 'Cause I love muffins!"
What?

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Ice cream for breakfast

Me: "What do you want for breakfast?"
Simon: "Ice cream."
Me: "You can't eat ice cream for breakfast."
Simon: "Why not? It is food."

Me: "Simon, do you want yogurt or waffles for breakfast?"
Simon: "I want something more delicious-er."
Me: "Like what?"
Simon: "Sand."

Simon was jumping up and down, pretending to shoot his gun (he calls it a camera). I told him he needed to calm down since it seven thirty a.m. and we have neighbors. Without stopping at all, he looked at me and said, "I am sooo calm!"

Simon: "Mom, if I stop and think can I have a candy bar?"

Me: "Simon, you need to go to the bathroom before we leave for church."
Simon: "I don't have to go right now!"
Me: "Yes, young man, you do."
Simon: "Okey-dokey! You know best!"
Hahaha! Yep, I do.

Me: "Are you excited to learn about God this morning?"
Simon:"Yes"!
Me: "Are you excited to play with your friends?"
Simon: "Yes!"
Me: "Are you excited to sing songs?"
Simon: "No, 'cause I'm not singing. I just share my hat with the guy."

Enjoy your Sunday!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Bossy boots

A few more:

Me: "Simon, I need you to get your shoes on."
Simon: "You're the boss."

Me: "Simon, let's go blow bubbles outside so Dad can take his test without any distractions."
Simon (pretty loudly): "Dad, am I distracting!?!"

Me: "Why don't you blow some bubbles."
Simon: "Sure. Bossy boots."

Simon was a handful today. Hopefully, I'll somehow wake up with tons of energy tomorrow. Goodnight everybody!

Is the fear of hair genetic?

Hello, and happy Saturday! Some of these are from yesterday.

Simon sneezed. He looked at me and said, "Oh no! I'm having allergies!"
I answered, "Simon, I don't think you're having allergy problems. It was just one sneeze."
Simon: "I'm allergic to your hair!"
Did I pass my fear of hair on to my son?

Simon kept pointing out the window at the moon this morning and saying, "Moon, go down!"

Simon: "Can I have a donut?"
Jeff: "We don't have any donuts, buddy?"
Simon: "Can I have a cookie?"
Me: "We don't eat cookies at breakfast!"
Simon: "But it's round like a donut."

Simon: "Mom, when I get bigger and stronger, I'm going to change the world."
Me: "That's a great thing. You definitely have a lot to offer."
Simon: "You're silly."

I told Simon I have a headache (again. I really need to see a doctor) and he said, "Grr! That's aggravating me!"
I'm right there with ya, kid.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Have a great day!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Simon's new word: aggravating

An extra one that I had to post:

Simon: "I can't fly and that's so AGGRAVATING!"

"Can I be good in just a minute"

Simon: "I'm Wall-e and Wall-e likes to watch Wall-e so I have to watch it."

I took Simon to play in the playground. He met a little boy there. He wanted to show him how to climb the spider-web ladder so he said, "Hey, Guy! Here's how you be Spiderman!"

Simon blew a big puff of air, then said, "Was that air or a breeze?"

Simon: "Mom, I have to fight you because you're my adversary (he pronounces it "ad-ver-si-re")."

Simon: "Can I be good in just a minute? I'm busy being a bad guy right now."

I took Simon to the bathroom. I left for just a minute and when I came back he was sitting on the floor of our kitchen (don't ask me why) with his pants down around his ankles, spinning in a circle. I asked him what on earth he thought he was doing and he said, "I'm making a zero with my bum!" Gross and funny, but mostly gross.

Simon's shirt got dirty at the park. I brought a new one into the bathroom for him to put on. He said, "You do it!" and threw it up into the air-it fell past him into the toilet. Needless to say, he did not wear that one.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Yesterday when he was supposed to be sleeping, Simon was laying on his bed saying, "Octagon" over and over in a sing-song voice.

Simon: "Guess what, Jodie? You're Mom!"

This one actually happened on Tuesday, but I'm writing it down now before I forget about it completely. We were at the store (one where Simon sometimes gets to pick out a small toy). Simon was riding in the cart. Suddenly, he was trying to hug me and he wanted to hold my hand and cuddle. He gave me a particularly big hug, then said (in a tone of great surprise), "Oh! There are some toys!"

I was reading Simon one of those ridiculous Star Wars books, the kind that has pictures from the movies posted everywhere with captions. I pointed to a picture and said, "Look, Simon. It's Jengo Fett." Simon gave me a look of disapproval and said, "No, it's Bo-bo Fett! Silly, Mom."
I was right, but why argue over it with a three year old? Haha!

Last night, Simon told a friend that he was going to be a firefighter and "that's good enough for me". I love the phrases he uses!

This morning, Jeff was reading Simon the story of the good Samaritan. Simon asked, "Were those bad guys mean to Moses?" Jeff had to explain that he Moses wasn't in that story. 

Simon: "Mom, don't say to behave. It's inappropriate!"

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Cooperating vs. Coordinating

Good morning! Simon is being especially cute today, but I (almost) always think that. Here are some of this morning's Simon-isms:

Simon came running into our room in the usual way yelling, "It's green! It's green!" in reference to his traffic light clock alarm going off (the light turns green when he's allowed to get up). When I said good morning, he replied, "Nuh-uh." Silly boy.

Simon: "BWAHAHAHAHA! I'm cackling!"

Simon held up one of his toys and asked, "What's his name?"
Me: "I don't know. What do you think his name is?"
Simon: "I don't know, but he's pretty cool."

Jeff took the trash out when he left for work this morning. About ten minutes after he left Simon said, "We need more trash, so Dad can come home to take it and play with me!"

Me: "Simon, the living room is a mess. You need to pick up some of your space toys before you eat, please."
Simon: "You can pick up those ones. We'll coordinate."
Me: "Do you mean 'cooperate'?"
Simon: "Yeah.That. You're right!"

Me: "Simon, I still need you to pick up your toys."
Simon: "I can't; they're necessary."
Hahaha!

Simon: "I love my quite times!" He had had a quiet time with Jeff a while earlier.

This one is from yesterday:
Simon: "Is today Sunday?"
Jeff: "No, today is Tuesday."
Simon: "Happy windsday!"
Um...okay.


Happy hump day!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Simon: "Dad, what's a varmint?"
After Jeff explained it to him, Simon said, "Mom is a varmint."
Thanks, buddy.

Simon: "Are you done, people?"
He had gotten bored waiting to be excused from the table.

Simon has starting carrying around a (very heavy) toy robot. He takes it everywhere. It has to sit in the bathroom when he goes, he puts it on the table when he eats, he even sets it down in the kitchen so he can show it how to "give Mom a hand" with the dishes. Because it's so heavy (it's not meant to be carried around), it falls over a lot. Every time it does, Simon yells, "Are you okay, Specket?" then he answers himself : "'I'm okay', said the robot."

Simon just told me that he doesn't need to take a nap because he's a robot and robots don't take naps. I told him that they do so that they can re-charge their batteries. He looked at me like I was being ridiculous and said, "Mom, I don't have batteries."

Monday, October 10, 2011

Simon can sign all his colors, please and thank you,  brush, comb, awake, asleep, rainbow, you're welcome, apple, candy, banana, police officer, Jesus, and share. He knows some other signs too, but I can't remember which ones right now. I'm so proud of him!

Simon: "I'm happy, actually, today."
Me:" I'm so glad!"
Simon: "You make me happy."
Awwww!

Simon:"I'm a rock-'em-sock-'em BMW robot and my head bobbles like this: BOING!"
He stretched his neck out and made his head wobble. It's pretty stinking hilarious.

Simon: "I have to eat broccoli right now!"
Me: "Simon, it's early in the morning. We don't eat broccoli for breakfast."
Simon: "But I have to eat it to beat it!"
Me: "I can get you an apple, if you want."
Simon: "No, 'cause then I would be big and strong and my chair wouldn't fit."

Hope you enjoy the day! Think of it as a Thursday instead of a Monday. That'll help. Have a great one!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

What to do with itty bitty cows

Simon: "You can't pray to itty bitty cows...but you can eat them!" (insert maniacal laugh here)

Simon: "It's STILL raining!"
Me:"I know. It's really wet out there."
Simon: "Make the weather stop!"


Simon has learned the word 'yearn'. His first sentence using it: "Mom, I YEARN for a new toy robot named Megatron  and it has a camera and it defeats Darth Vader!"

Simon: "I can't eat my food! It's counterproductive 'cause I'm going to church!"
 Me: "Simon, we're going to church after you eat."
Simon: "I guess so."

It's only eight, so there will probably be more if I have the time (or inclination) to write them down. Have a wonderful Sunday!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

I pointed to the picture that I just added and asked Simon, "Who is that?" Simon answered, "I have no idea!" even though he is well aware that it is a picture of him. 

Robots don't go potty

Simon yelled, "Goodbye, Daddy!" REALLY loudly out the window this morning. Then he looked at me and said, "That was too loud. I need an inside voice." Need is the operative word here. His "inside voice" doesn't exist.

Me: "Simon, it's time to go potty."
Simon: "But I'm a robot and robots don't have winkies!" Oh, boy.

Simon sang along to the Super Why theme song. Then he yelled, "I love this song! It has a good beat!" Hahaha!


Simon: "I'm R2D2 and you're C-3PEO" (his pronunciation) "And Daddy is Megatron and he doesn't have to go to work 'cause Megatron can't work."

Simon: "What kind of pants are these?"
Me: "They're khakis".
Simon: "Yeah. Tackies. That's right."

Friday, October 7, 2011

I had to add one more:

Simon and I were playing sword fighting. After he "defeated" me, Simon wiped his arm across his forehead and said, "Whew! That was intense!"

"I'm Sir Goahead!"

Good morning! Some of these are from last night.

Simon: "I'm fantabulous!"

Simon got very interested in knights and chivalry yesterday. I let him watch The Sword and the Stone and he started asking the  name of every single character in the movie (even the unnamed ones in the background) and he wanted to know the name of the knight coloring page I printed up for him. We went through a bunch: Sir Kay, Sir Ector, Sir Lancelot, Sir Galahad. Simon said, "I'm Sir GoAhead with a yellow shield." Hahaha!

Simon, as I'm cleaning up the breakfast dishes, "I'll give you a hand with that because I'm a knight." What a sweet boy.

Simon: "Dad can't work, 'cause it's dangerous!"


Simon: "Dear God, thank You for my food and my toy sword that is gray and is REALLY STRONG!"

Simon: "When I'm bigger, I can be a knight and say 'Step back, sir' and take people to jail!"

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

A spectacular morning

Good morning! Some of these are from yesterday.

I gave Simon a kiss and he wiped his cheek with his arm. I said, "Simon, you wiped off my kiss. That makes me sad."
Simon answered, "Don't worry, there's still some left." Silly boy.

Simon blew Jeff a kiss when he was heading to the car. Jeff blew him a kiss back and Simon said, "Dad just gave my kiss back to me! I'll give it to him." He then proceeded to blow so many kisses I thought he was going to get chapped lips.

Simon: "I'm Batman! I have to throw my boomaray at you 'cause you're a bad guy! (throws his toy at me) "Hey, why didn't my boomaray come back?"

Simon: "I can walk and run REALLY FAST! I'm multi-talented!"

Simon: "Today is spectacular!"

Whenever someone asks how Simon is doing, he always answers, "I'm doing yes." Today when I asked how he was he said, "I'm doing yes, and yes, and yes!" I hope that means he's very happy.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Fun at the park

Jeff told Simon that he should go on the "shaky bridge" at the park. Simon looked at it and said, "I can't. It's too risky."

While climbing on the playground at the park, Simon informed us that he is "afraid of heights."

Simon met a little girl who he ended up playing with. She tried to get him to go down one of the tunnel slides with him; he climbed into the top and decided that he didn't want to. Jeff said, "You need to try new things." and PUSHED HIM into the slide! Simon ended up liking it and went down several more times, but he quite easily could have been terrified. Both of my guys are funny!

Simon: " What's the fountain for?"
Me:" It looks pretty."
Jeff:" Birds take baths in it sometimes."
Simon: :That's gross!"

Simon teaches Jeff new words.

Simon: "Dear God, thank you for cheeeeese!"

Last night Jeff was teaching Simon the months of the year. He got to October with Simon repeating after him.
Jeff: "Can you say 'October'"?
Simon: "Can you say 'motorcycle'"?
Hahaha!

Simon:"I want mushrooms for breakfast. I love green mushrooms! You do too."
He has never eaten mushrooms.

Simon: "I'm Superman, so I need sausage."
Me:" Um, we don't have any sausage. Do you want yogurt and toast for breakfast."
Simon: (with a big sigh) "I guess. Rex1 (a robot he likes to pretend he is) likes yogurt."

Me: "Simon! Why did you put your toy in your yogurt?"
Simon: "He was just swimming."
Uh huh.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Surprise!

Simon's grandma came over last night to celebrate her birthday with us. As we're eating our dinner, Simon said, "We have a surprise for you and it's a movie and a puzzle."
"Simon!", I said, trying to get him to stop telling  his grandma what presents she would be getting.
 He looked at me and yelled, "WHAT!?!" Grandma was a great sport and pretended to be surprised anyway, since Simon wanted her to.

Simon asked if the cockroach that I've spent the better part of the morning trying to get rid of is a dog. That's how big it is. The score right now is cockroach: 1 (I jumped about three feet when it made its' appearance, and squeaked) Jodie: 0 (right now, it is randomly poking its' head out from between our oven hood and the wall. I think it's mocking me).

Simon:"I'm going to get a surprise and it's a robot with a camera and it goes (insert gun noises). Deal?"
Me:"We'll buy you a toy if you go poop in the potty." (we're desperate)
Simon: "That's not how it works! I get a surprise without going poop."
Me: "No, you have to use the bathroom like a big boy. Robots go to the bathroom." (Did I mention that I'm desperate?)
Simon: "Aaaah! I'm overreacting!!!!"

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Superhero flowers...

Simon: "I want to call Dad at work and tell him to come home and visit me." Awww!

For no apparent reason, Simon burst into tears. When I asked him what was wrong, he said (in between sobs) that he wanted to give me a hug. I said, "Of course, Simon. You can always give me hugs!"
Simon answered, "No I can't 'cause you'll break." It took me almost ten minutes to calm him down. I think someone is a little tired.

Simon: "When I'm bigger and stronger, I can have  money and I'll buy you surprises. The surprise will be superhero flowers!"

Simon: "I have a secret. Here's the secret: when I'm older, I can watch Star Wars and the robot will defeat Darth Vader!" He tends to combine Star Wars and Transformers in his mind, having seen neither.

Simon: "I have to punch you 'cause I'm a superhero called Beater-Upper Guy and I have to defeat you 'cause it's my job."

Just some original "Simonisms" to start the day. Hope it's a good one, everybody!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

It has to be brand-name

While we were at the store last night, Jeff put some of the store-brand tape in our cart. Simon wanted Jeff to get the (much more expensive) scotch tape with the green package. When Jeff said not this time, Simon answered, "Dad, you are making me annoying! Annoying starts with A! A, A, annoying."